20 May

Hi friends. Many of you have, by now, heard our bad news via the Uncommon Grace Facebook page. My husband learned in March that his contract at his current job would not be renewed for next year. Almost right away, another opportunity fell into his lap. It was a seven-week interview process in a new career field. We felt optimistic and hopeful the whole time. He breezed through the entire interview process until the very last step. We still don't know what happened, but it was not to be. Since then, the reality of the situation -- of facing unemployment while preparing for the birth of our fourth baby -- has hit us hard, and we are reeling. 

Everyone says these things ultimately work out. To keep our faith. We've been inundated with career tips, some helpful and some less so. He's looking at different options, applying for what little is out there in teaching (so very little), researching alternatives. I'm trying to think of things I can do -- with a newborn and three homeschooled kids. An overwhelming prospect. (Perhaps something online. Probably not anything craft-related.)

I know, at the end of the day, we will be "OK", although I'll admit that some days, I don't exactly know what "OK" even means. Sometimes I feel a sense of peace (like right now, which is why I'm even able to write today), and sometimes I am struck with such overwhelming anxiety that I feel absolutely paralyzed. 

My husband has had a long road of career disappointment. He seems to be one of those honest, hard-working people who never "catches a break". The proverbial hamster wheel, I guess. It's hard to see how some people seem to have success thrown at them while others work hard their whole lives only to face disappointment again and again. 

The pictures are of our plum tree, last month. The blossoms were destroyed by snow a few days later. This week, our cherry trees finally bloomed. I meant to go out and take some pictures of them, but looking out the window right now I see that they have all faded. They're so ethereal, like anything in life, I suppose. Things come and go, opportunities appear and fade, and we just have this one life. It's all so big and important, and never easy. 

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers!