30 November

I made it! I made it! My third year in a row to complete the November NaBloPoMo challenge. I love doing it but it's exhausting, too.

Tomorrow we'll start our Advent activities. The little stockings are ready and waiting, and our traditional first activity, planting paperwhite bulbs (they have, so far, never failed to bloom just in time for Christmas!) is at the ready. 

Right now, I'm feeling quite a bit overwhelmed. I'm finishing the last of the doll orders and I'm behind on my (self-imposed) deadline. I'm realizing I only have 24 days to complete all the Christmas projects I have in the queue. I'm anxious. Prioritizing and managing time is not one of my strengths. OK, I'm freaking out a little bit tonight.

One thing at a time. One thing at a time.

I'm taking tomorrow off but I promise to be back in the next couple of days! Lots of things to show and tell, plus another holiday book post to plan for! See you soon! 

23 November

Today was one of those days where I had a huge, long list of things to get done, and didn't really accomplish many of them at all. There always seems to be some important, pressing thing to look up on Wikipedia, or a book I haven't picked up in weeks seems to be calling, or I realize I really need to paint my toenails... ah, procrastination. I have a long, complicated relationship with it. Sigh. 

But tomorrow we will give thanks and celebrate and the to-do list will be set aside and there will be much joy and goodness. Wishing you all a perfect Thanksgiving day tomorrow. And if you're not celebrating, wishing you a day full of peace and gratitude all the same. 

{By the way, I loved Sarah's post last night about homekeeping and balance. Lovely thoughts, and so beautifully said. I hope you have a chance to read it in the midst of busyness and family and all those lists.}

21 November

OK. This marks the third time this month I've had to post without photos. This time it is because I hate Mondays, they are way too busy, overwhelming, and overall hard days, when I barely keep my head on straight, much less take photos or think about blog posts. And I can't access any of my older photos tonight because, even though I had a good idea for a post using photos from a day last week, my external harddrive is being used on our old laptop right now, trying to save what little information is save-able. So, there you go. Blah.

Monday, there is a reason there is a song about you. That's all I'm saying.

16 November

I am pretty behind on my homework, so I'm just popping in to share this cute picture from today. We are all getting in the mood for Christmas around here, I think!

1 September

{This was yesterday's post -- my thoughts turned toward the new beginnings of September -- but I couldn't post it yesterday because my camera software was corrupted and had to be reinstalled, and I couldn't find the disk until today!}

So, it's the first of September. I can hardly believe it! August zipped by in a flurry of chaos and adjustment, and this September promises to bring many good things. I'm thinking back to a year ago, when my husband was in the midst of the worst of his illness. We didn't know what the future would bring and I tried to distract myself from the unspeakable fear. A year later, things are so much brighter. What a difference one year can make!

I wrote a "back to (home)school" post last week that needs some editing and tweaking before I publish it, but today I want to write a little bit about rhythm, something that I know is on the minds of many during this time of year.

Rhythm has become a bit of a buzzword around blogworld. People talk about it and think about it a lot. For some, it's kind of become synonymous with a schedule of sorts, for others, it's a way of consciously structuring the things that repeat in their weeks -- whether the things that need to be done (errands, shopping, baking), or that they want to get done (art projects, hikes, etc.).

I wanted to propose another way of thinking about rhythm.

For me, rhythm is the way a family's days "go" at a given time in their lives. It may be quiet and inward, it may be wild and boisterous. It may be oriented toward a season or holiday, it may be free-form. But, to my way of looking at it, it's not imposed or structured, but develops organically over time, and shifts happens subtly. It's like realizing that you've fallen into step with your walking companion -- serendipitous, happy, natural. Though there have been many times where I've felt it necessary to institute a schedule to our days, it never works for the long term. I believe that's because a schedule can never take into account all the various things that really make up our family's unique rhythm.

Sometimes a rhythm is necessarily dictated by things that are scheduled, like this summer when we were swimming three hours throughout the day. But most often, for us, it's the smaller things, like the way my children are playing (together, and separately) at the moment. The things we are enjoying eating, and therefore, their preparation. The creative outlets that pull at each of us. 

I could not write down a "schedule" to what our rhythm looks like. It's not a "breakfast at 8, tidy up at 8:30, stories at 9, outside at 9:45" type of thing. And yet, we do find that there are things we do every day, in roughly the same order. And it shifts over time, with the seasons, with the things we have going on. Naps happen at roughly the same time. We all need time to read and relax and be quiet, to work on projects alone or together, to care for our home. 

This fall, we are trying something a little bit different for "schooling" than we've done in the past (more on that in my upcoming "back to (home)school" post), and I want to find a way to gently work it into our days without disrupting the good rhythmic elements that are in place already. I know that we're finding our way into a new rhythm right now, anyway, as autumn approaches (100 degrees today, but in the 70's by the weekend!), as we continue to adjust to daddy's new work schedule, as preparation for Halloween begins to be a part of our creative consciousness. So, I guess I'm not too worried about how adding some schooling back into our days will be. At first, it's going to be one of those "scheduled" things that the rest of our rhythm will move and stretch itself around. And my hope is that on the best of days, it will become part of that daily rhythm, that breath of our family's life together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm very much interested in reading Amanda's new book, The Rhythm of Family, which I think must touch on what I've written here, because ever since this post nearly five years ago, I've felt that her way of looking at rhythm was similar to mine. The book hasn't found its way across my threshold yet, but it will soon, I hope. :)

I've been doing this for two weeks, and I love it. It's a way to briefly jot down my impressions of the day, without giving it too much thought, without laboring over it like a blog post, or editing what I say for others to read on Facebook or Twitter. It's just a little bit of my own memories of our days. And it even sends reminder emails, so I've not missed a single day. Such a simple way of recording these days of ours, and their unique rhythmic ebb and flow.

And finally, feeling such gratitude tonight for the health of my mother-in-law, who had a medical procedure today, for my best friend's sweet new baby boy, and for my brother, who will tie the knot on Monday! (Oh, and that my children don't have any squeamishness about insects.)

{Edited to add: I do feel that intention is so very important in family life, but I also don't believe that deciding to myself "Wouldn't it be nice if our days went like this?" and then writing it down makes it our family's rhythm. If that makes sense. This is meant to share my ideas about rhythm, not to criticize those who use the term to mean more of a schedule! In some ways, it's just semantics. Whatever you call these things, we all have both natural patterns to our days, and things that we need to schedule.}

5 weeks later...

Friends, I have wanted to sit down and write a post. I have tried, even. But I just haven't had the time or motivation to really be here, and I'm so sorry. I'm afraid there is just about no one left who reads this little neglected blog of mine, but I still want to be here. 

So first, thank you for all your fantastic book recommendations! I'm so appreciative!

And next, today was the final swim practice of the summer. It doesn't seem possible -- this weekend is the state swim meet, and the season really has ended. I feel like it just began. Elisabeth swam two hours a day (morning and evening practice -- her choice!) all summer. In addition to James's swimming lessons (and he still has 3 full weeks left of those), we have hardly had a moment this summer that wasn't lived at a pool. (Which is both fine by me, and also means not a lot of variety.)

It has been dreadfully hot, though the heat has been punctuated by afternoon thunderstorms -- some of which have been fantastic! And lots more has happened, too. There are probably things I want to share here when I have the chance to look through my photos.

But really, most importantly, my husband has a new job. At the end of June, we were at a baseball game with friends (by the way, if you have one of these summer collegiate baseball leagues near you and you enjoy baseball, it's definitely worth checking out! The games were free but were on a near-professional level. Very fun!), and while we were there, the principal of a high school in an older suburban neighborhood about 30 minutes from where we live called him out of the blue. He had not even seen the job posting yet. She gave him a 30-minute phone interview on the spot, and the next day he went to interview in person. Within 72 hours of the initial phone call, he had been offered the job. It's hard to describe the combination of disbelief and relief that we felt. Within a week of being offered the job, he was preparing for the school's 4-week-long marching band camp which began on July 5. It was 3 hours a day, 5 days a week for all of July. He says he thinks it was a bit much and the kids are feeling a bit burnt out, so he might do it a bit differently next summer, but this was the schedule that was already in place.

Yesterday and today he was at new-employee orientation. On Monday he starts a week of in-school professional development and teacher planning days, and on August 8, classes begin. This school district is on a pretty different schedule than other districts in our area, so he is back to work weeks sooner than he would have been at his old job. The transition to him going back to work in August is always a hard one for me, and this year it's even earlier, so I'm feeling a bit disoriented right now. I know from experience that things will ease up and we'll find our way into a new routine. Still, I don't do well with transitions, and we have a lot of them with his work.

At any rate, I wish to thank all of you who have thought about us, prayed for us, and sent us all your good thoughts and blessings as we have struggled with job stuff over the last 4 years. We are hopeful that things have finally turned a corner for him professionally. Though his new job represents more time and more responsibilities, I think we are ready now to deal with those in a way we might not have been before. So, it's exactly the right time.

Anyway, that's just a bit of where I am right now. I have been inspired by Kyrie's "Week in the Life" posts this week, so I thought maybe next week I'd try something along those lines, though it could be more of a "Rough Week in the Life" since we are very much finding our way right now.

.

I'm sorry I haven't been here to share our news. I think many of you have heard already, through various means. But anyway, he didn't get the job and it went down in a rather crappy way. I don't want to say too much about it, because we really do wish the person well who was hired. What you need to know is we didn't get it, but I'm thankful for your many prayers and good thoughts. And of course, he has his job to return to in the fall. So it's not dire. Just disappointing. 

Here are some recent flickr faves that have been cheering me up a little (click on it to see photo credits and get a better view -- the right-hand ones are cut off). Along with good friends, both local and far away. Thank you one and all.

Well....

We thought we would find out the results from the interview last night. But instead they are waiting until Monday to do the final portion of the interview process. So we may not hear until Monday night or Tuesday. I'm trying not to spend my weekend overthinking the whole thing, but of course I am. I go back and forth between thoughts like, "he's perfect for this job, it was practically made for him, he is the obvious candidate" to a sinking feeling like I know he hasn't gotten it already. I know these thoughts are normal in a situation like this. But I don't want to become obsessive. Because he does have his job to return to in the fall, although it's always shaky in an inner-city school with shrinking enrollment. But we haven't reached the desperation that so many have lately. So I'm thankful for that, always. 

We've had to take on some new expenses. A car, a computer. We knew they were both coming, and they came close together. Suddenly I'm thinking, "Should we really be reserving campsites for this summer? Can we afford that this month?" and other silly worries like that. Here is what I know. Sometimes you have to take on bigger expenses, and things feel tight, and you have to stretch. And then you do stretch, and you find you can make do with fewer of some things. And you may not be able to make all the same choices you've been making. And that can be freeing, in a way. 

And what else do I know? I know that yesterday I went to my sister's to watch the Royal Wedding and it took us 11 hours to get through it. There were some frustrated words from both mamas. I remember that things like 4-hour television specials about some strangers getting married are not particularly riveting to one- and two- (and five-, and even, nine-) year-olds.

I know that tomorrow is May first and I haven't yet completed that blue sweater as I'd hoped I would. Because I spent 11 hours yesterday trying to watch Kate Middleton become the Duchess of Cambridge. And that I do really care about that transformation in the life of a woman I've never met. It gives me hope. Not that I'll become a princess one day (though when I was four, my career aspiration was to be the Queen of England), but because it reminds me that in a real way, "fairy tales" happen to all of us, in ordinary and extraordinary ways all the time.

I know that my house has been neglected for two days. And that it looks like it's been neglected for a month. I think if one of you walked in right now, you would think it has never been cleaned. I'm surprised, all the time, how fast things can decline, even when we haven't been home most of that time. 

I know that anything is possible: with patience, love, humility, and openness. 

And that's what I know on this Saturday.

Hello

Today is a cold, gray day. It's getting on to dinner time, and I haven't made it out to the store. My house is a bit chaotic. But these tulips -- twenty pink and one red -- are cheering me up.

I haven't been here much this year. Partly, of course, I've been in a funk. But also, technical difficulties have been so prevalent for me over the last few years, and they really started to accelerate in the last few months. We have had a series of old/slow/bad computers. Actually, it is amazing what I have accomplished on them. All but one have been very old. The one brand-new PC we purchased in 2008 was already acting up within 6 months, and by 18 months later, was crashing frequently (it's how I ended up losing more than 6 months of photos last spring -- and yes, they were even on a back-up drive). 

So, we finally invested in a Mac this week, after much worrying over expense and so on. And I'm so glad we did. Everything is easier, smoother, clearer, cleaner ... it's going to make things so much easier. 

Will having a new computer make it easier for me to be here more? Yes, it will. Of course, I'll still need to think of things to talk about. And that funk with blogging is a very real thing. But at least I won't have to worry about it taking 12 or more hours to upload photos (as it did with my last post), while crashing several times in the midst of it. 

Here's to having tools appropriate to the job!

Sidetracked Home Executives winners!

Thank you all so much for entering my little giveaway! (Sorry I'm a day late ... yesterday turned out to be a very crazy day.) By the time I eliminated my own responses and double comments, there were 163 entries! Thanks to Random.org, the winners are...

Number 124

Jacqueline said...

Grace,

This post could not have come at a better time! I recently moved into my first home and have been struggling to find or develop systems for cleaning, cooking, etc. that mesh with my preferences and lifestyle. This just might be the one for me. Also, I implemented the meal planning system that you wrote about several months ago and it has been going wonderfully! Thank you for sharing so many wonderful ideas. They have brought such a sense of peace and order to the daily rhythm of my life.

xo,
Jacqueline

AND...

Number 156

Michelle Elaine said...

I sooooo needed to read this. I have been hopelessly fighting this same battle. And I've been at a loss as to how to overcome it. I try and try to "do better"... yet always fail.

Thanks so much for the chance to win!!

Jacqueline and Michelle, please email me at uncommongrace(at)comcast(dot)net, and I'll get your goodies out to you. Thank you all so much for entering! My next post about cleaning and homemade, natural cleaning products, is underway! See you back here soon!

at it again with my favorite habit

Well, sickness abounds in our house. I have to say that this might be the worst thing about having a teacher for a parent: he catches, and brings home, every single virus that goes around. I have had particularly bad luck in February and I now have the world's worst cough. I mean, seriously, I'm half-wondering if it's pertussis.

So I'm here just briefly tonight to let you know that I'm back at habit for the month of March and I'm so, so excited. If Molly and Emily ever stop inviting past guests back on an occasional basis, I think I will die of sadness. It is my favorite place on the web, for real!

So, please visit me and the other guests over there. If you are new to the space, you'll be so glad you did. And if you are an old friend, like I am, you already know what I'm talking about.

Hopefully after a day of rest tomorrow I'll be back here at the end of the week.

Edited: I was exaggerating about pertussis. :)

February 1

Hello, dear friends. How have you been? I can't believe that all of January went by with just one post from me. Not my intention at all -- it just sort of happened. Part of it was feeling a little bit depressed (as I get from time to time) about materialism and whatnot that can be part of the loveliness of the blog world. Part of it has been a very real lack of computer time. And a huge part of it was a difficult struggle with writer's block. I know the general advice for writer's block is to try to work through it, but that's also a challenge. I once read an interview with Heather B. Armstrong where she said that she sometimes has such horribly painful writer's block that it is actually crippling. Of course, a big difference between me and Heather is that I don't make a dime off my blog, much less support my whole family with it! Anyway, I'm going to try harder.

I do have a few things in mind, although the writer's block is still naggingly present.

I haven't been good about getting my 365 photos uploaded to flickr, either -- that is not for lack of taking them (I've missed just a few times times -- I think 3 or so -- still some misses, but not too bad for my first attempt at something like this), but really because of the very reduced time I've had for the computer. Anyway, my goal is to do this! So here's to a better effort.

Here are some photo highlights from January:

Home comforts and simple pleasures kept our sometimes hectic days in check.

Many different, delicious beverages were enjoyed.

I ripped out an entire sweater.

And started it over.

Our world was a beautiful place.

If you visit my 365 set, you can see each photo from the month and read some reflections on nearly each of the days. Some are funny, some are sweet, one includes a recipe ... they will help you get a better idea of what has been going on with me for the last, quiet, month.

2011, I like you already

Welcome to 2011, friends! It's looking mighty fine from here, I must say. 2010 certainly had its ups and downs -- unfortunately, more downs than it should have. I'm so looking forward to this new year, and the promise of its unblemished days and months ahead!

On that note, I'm looking forward to chronicling it in a new (to me) way. I've decided to jump in on a 365 photo project -- a photo a day for the entire year. So many of my friends have done it (some of them for many years now), that I finally felt the time was right for me to give it a go. So, please join me over on flickr, and follow along with my year in photos!

I'm going to try to do a 2010 retrospective post, like I did for 2009 (I love looking back at that) very soon. And I plan to redouble my efforts to be in this space much more than I was last year.

I have some other goals for 2011: less computer time, more making, more reading, a greater effort toward creating some time and space for myself in the midst of our busy family life, and more time carved out for my husband and me to reconnect.

What about you? What are your hopes and goals for this fresh, new year? I just love its possibility, don't you?

A very merry Christmas

This has been one of the busiest weeks on record for me. I have been making so many things! I'm hoping that when you see everything I got done this month (in some upcoming gift posts), you'll forgive me for being absent this whole week and not doing the Holiday Home Tour. Maybe I'll share some of our decorations with you next week, as we'll be celebrating the Twelve Days of Christmas in our customary way.

Anyway, I've been a knitting and sewing machine this week. Along with some baking (much of it of the lemon variety, thanks to my dear, dear, sweet friend Sarah and her lemon tree), and some birthday celebrating. (Today is my husband's birthday. He turned an age that starts with a "4" and ends with a "3".) So, yes, a very full week.

So from here, I'm going to wish you a very merry, blessed, and bright Christmas. See you next week!

love,
Grace

Holiday Essentials Studio giveaway winner

Thank you all so much for your kind words about Beatrice over the last day. I'm sort of surprised by how much grief we've experienced, but I guess we haven't had to go through the loss of a pet in a very, very long time.

Anyway, I'm still going to do the Holiday Home Tour, but I'll be doing it next week instead.

And the winner of the Holiday Essentials Studio giveaway is commenter number 24, Becca:

becca said...

sounds fantastic! our holiday traditions are going to see a play, making a gingerbread house and rolling beeswax candles.

Becca, I will forward your email address to Morgan and she will get you your password.

Thank you all for playing along!

Giveaway winner, and a few other things

Random Number Generator picked a winner for the giveaway of Modern Top-Down Knitting, and it's commenter number 102, Angela:

Angela said...

Love your new hat. I got a new red coat this year and that hat would look great with it. You will love it with your new red coat.

Angela, please email me your address and I'll get the book out to you!

On to other stuff:

I have two more things to give away to you! One is another book (yay!), and the other is a great giveaway from a blogging friend! Look for those this week.

(On the subject of giveaways, I am not currently taking sponsorships or ads on my blog. For now, it doesn't seem the right decision for me or the blog. I would only review or mention a product here that I have personally used and like. I am not getting paid to do giveaways. I was graciously given a review copy of Modern Top-Down Knitting by the publisher for the blog tour, although it's a book I would have purchased myself, anyway. The other book giveaway is for a book I had already purchased. The giveaway copies are gifts from the publisher, STC Craft. Anyway, I wanted you to know, just so it's all open, and not awkward.)

Also, my good, good friend Jennifer is hosting a Holiday Home Tour this week and I'll be participating by sharing some photos and details of some of our decorations. If you'd like to join in, hop on over to Mama Urchin and let Jennifer know -- she's making a list. This is such a fun idea. Thank you, Jennifer! (Please let me know here if you decide to join in, I'd love to see your decorations, too!)

Friday night

I don't have a "real" post for you tonight -- I had a long and exhausting day of too many errands, unfortunately, and not enough blog planning. ;)

However, I did get some pictures of my little one playing piano (and singing along), "just like mama."

Also, I wanted to let you know that on Tuesday, I'll be hosting a stop on the blog tour for the new book Modern Top-Down Knitting, along with a giveaway. It's an absolutely gorgeous book and you won't want to miss this!

More on mindfulness!

You all are so sweet. Thank you for your comments on yesterday's little post -- they ranged from affirmation to concern, and each one was so sweet. I forget sometimes that not all of you have been with me since the beginning of this blog, and so you may not know that I've written here about mindfulness quite a few times. The first time was here (almost 4 years ago! look at tiny baby James, not even a year old there!), and there is a quote in that post that I think warrants sharing again. It expresses, for me, the core of what a mindfulness practice is.

"If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not 'washing the dishes to wash the dishes.' What's more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact, we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can't wash the dishes, the chances are we won't be able to drink our tea, either. While thinking of other things, we are barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus, we are sucked away into the future -- and we are incapable of actually living one moment of life!"

-Thich Nhat Hanh

I do know that being gentle with oneself is a huge step, but I have become a master at gentleness with myself, and I know when I need to step it up and employ some discipline. When I work hard (and it is hard work for me) on being fully present in the moment, then I know I am really living my life, rather than just existing in it, and that's so very important to me.

It's also important to my spiritual journey. Last year, a wise priest I know said, "Being in the moment allows us to be available to the eternal present all the time."

Anyway, I'm so heartened to know that so many of you are right there with me on this journey. I am a very goal-directed person (hello, Type-A personality), and really understanding, in my bones, that life is about the process has taken me a long time. I don't know that I'm there yet, but much closer.

Thank you all for being here, in this moment, with me.

xoxox

Being present this advent

I stayed home from church today with a vomity baby. As I was giving her the first of several baths, and she played quite happily in the warm water, I wondered to myself when it is that we seem to outgrow our ability to live in the moment? It seems like it's something that most adults struggle with, but young children don't struggle with it at all. My baby felt crummy, she'd just vomited in her bed and her hair, but she was happy in that moment in the bath.

I've been conscious of this for a long time -- I started working with mindfulness more than four years ago now -- but I wonder if I've gotten any better. My mind wanders -- sometimes in a "good" way, a way that I approve of, that doesn't distract me from the moment (but still wandering), and sometimes in such an "aggressive" way that I am completely removed from the present. I just wonder. When does this shift occur?

Anyway, I'm working this advent on being more fully present (because I can always improve -- the exercise never seems to get dull). Today we began a little bit of decorating. In a beautiful family moment, the strains of the song "Peace on Earth (Silent Night)" (it was that version, but I love the original, too) came on at the very moment my husband lifted the lid on the box with our nativity stable in it. Elisabeth and James were crowded around, and it already seemed like the perfect moment, and then James said, so excitedly, "The thankstivity!" That has to be one of my favorite advent moments, ever.

And I have a PDF to share with you of what we're doing this year with our advent calendar! You can find it here. This will hopefully help to see how it can be broken down into something simple, rather than getting overwhelmed by all the different options of things to do and give (you can see my previous extensive list here). I'm sure you may have questions for me when you look it over, and please ask in the comments! I'll respond there, too, so that everyone can see the answers. (Quickly, on day 20 it says "make fanky", and I'm sure you'll wonder what "fanky" is. It's a fried cookie from my mother-in-law's Czech heritage, almost exactly like Polish chrusciki.)

I hope that seeing the way I plan our activities is helpful to you, and gives you some ideas about where to start when planning your own family's seasonal observance. Remember to keep it simple -- in the end, you and your children will be much happier that way. Have fun!

11/18/10

Today was a really rotten day. I really came close to skipping a post here, because I'm tired, and grumpy, and I heard two awful stories about mothers taking their own lives, and I was treated rudely at my bank, and I lost my temper with my children. But I made a commitment to be here, so here I am, just for a moment. (To be fair, not everything today was bad. I did have two nice conversations with friends.)

Tomorrow is a new day. And hopefully it will be more like this photo, because it makes me happy.