Speeding

Last week I got a speeding ticket for driving 10 miles an hour over the posted speed limit. Beyond being vexed about the fine and disappointed in myself both for speeding and being caught, it has made me consider some things.

Mostly, the concept of speeding itself. Speeding while driving -- and speeding through life. Like so many people, I have a tendency to rush, and to feel rushed. At the pool after swimming lessons, I feel a vague pressure to get everyone dry and dressed and out to the car in a hurry. While sewing or knitting, I find myself fixating on the finished object rather than the process of its creation. I'll hurry through a job, like pulling weeds in the garden, just to get it over with, rather than stopping to really experience the job with all of my senses.

I've written a little bit about this in the past, and it's something I've been aware of, thinking about, and working on for a number of years. It's easy for me to feel like I haven't made much progress, but when I stop to think about it, I realize that I have. I've made a lot of small changes. The scenarios I listed above do happen, but not as frequently as they might have two or three years ago. I have learned to ask myself "What's the rush?" "What do I have to do that is more important than what I'm doing right now?" and "Do I really have somewhere better to be?" Often the answer to these questions is, surprisingly and honestly, Nothing. It turns out that there really is nowhere better to be, no reason to rush from here to there, to hurry through my life.

What is the rush? If I hurry through today, and I race through tomorrow, then I'm really only speeding toward the end of my life. That could come when I'm 92, or 50, or tomorrow. But I don't want the measure of my life, when it finally has ended, to have been one that was sped through. I want it to be one that was actually lived.

So, I can afford an extra 25 minutes to dawdle at the pool. I can learn to appreciate the fact that my current knitting project takes 2000 stitches to yield one inch of work, and the quality of my sewing when I take my time. I can do one thing at a time, and do those things well and with great love. I can afford myself the time to live this life.

So Many Reasons to Love Pink

Pink is my favorite color. I really love a lot of colors, and I love the way colors play with one another. But I am devoted to pink. And there have been such a lot of good reasons to love pink around here over the last few weeks.

Peonies in our yard! (Now faded, but I'm still reveling in their memory.)

This amazing sweater gifted to us by Kyrie. If you're one of the more than 400 people who have viewed it (or the more than 80 who have faved it!) over on her Ravelry page, or if you've been following along at near:far almost from the beginning, you'll certainly recognize it. She knitted it during her pregnancy for her own baby, and I loved it so much that she sent it to me. I am so, so grateful for this gift for so many reasons.

Roses from our garden.

Washcloths. I've knitted four of these (in pink) recently and love them for wiping little hands and faces.

And most especially, this wee pink girl.

Thank you

Thank you all for your responses to my last post. Your thoughts and words mean so very much to me. I'm glad that I have this place in which I can express myself so honestly, and be heard. And I'm touched that so many of you shared your own stories with me. As women and mothers, we need to be able to reach out to others, to tell our stories, to allow ourselves to be heard. So, thank you.

I'm doing fine really, most of the time. Every now and then there is a scary moment, but I have to remind myself often that one bad day doesn't mean that I've slipped back into depression. I think many of us can find ourselves guilty of feeling like if things aren't stellar all the time, then something must be wrong. But it is truly what we choose to do with very ordinary, dull days (not just spectacular, special ones) that makes us the strong and beautiful people that we all have the potential to be.

How I'm doing

Those of you who have been following along over at near:far have probably inferred that I've been facing some struggles over the last few weeks. While the purpose of this blog, and near:far, too (though more limited in scope), has always been to keep things positive and to help me maintain my focus on the beautiful things in my daily life, I also strongly believe that it's unhealthy for me to suffer privately, and that it doesn't help women in general for us as a society to be silent about the realities of baby blues and postpartum depression. So, the truth for me -- right now -- is that I have a mix of some good "normal" days, and some frightening "bad" days. Like all mothers, I sometimes feel irritable and insecure. And sometimes, on some days, those feelings seem to be magnified. And on those days, I feel very vulnerable, as though I'm teetering on the brink of depression. I haven't reached a scary low place the way I did when James was a baby, and I'm still hoping that through good self-care, support, and awareness, that depth of depression can be averted. But the truth is, I don't know. Even by doing everything "right", there is no guarantee.

So, I'm trying to remind myself:

*to go outside more (sunlight can really help with depression)

*to notice the tulips blooming right outside my door

*to ask for help when I need it

*to do things that I enjoy, that nurture me physically, and that nourish my soul

*to step back into my volunteer work with mothers in my community, work that has always been so gratifying

*to appreciate Fiona's beautiful chubbiness

*to find balance between seeking connection and giving space with Elisabeth and James when it's been a hard day and we're all struggling

*to do my best to remember to be fully present in the moment I'm in, and to be aware of and appreciative of the way my children are right now -- because time with them is so fleeting

*to be gentle with myself

*most of all, to take it one day at a time

I don't want this to become a depression blog. It's always been a place for me to go that's happy and uplifting. But I have always been frank in the past about my experiences with PPD, and I want to continue with that candor. I know that in some small way, my honesty has helped some of you who are reading right now. I have been touched so many times by an "out of the blue" email from another mother, saying that my words and the personal work I've done have been helpful and inspiring to her in her own journey. It is one of the things that makes keeping this blog so satisfying to me.

So I'll be sharing my progress here from time to time, while continuing to use this as a space to document small joys and accomplishments. Thank you all so much for your amazing and inspiring encouragement and generosity to me and my family, for continuing to add your own voices to this site in the form of your comments, and for your many loving emails. I appreciate you, and this community, so very much.

31

Thank you all for your many early birthday wishes -- and for your well-wishes and blessings for the birth of my baby.

Here I am, today, 31 years old. I did think the baby would come while I was still 30, but this little one is still quite happy to travel along inside for now. For today, I'm enjoying my birthday, a beautiful, unseasonably warm day, and working on practicing the art of surrender. This baby will come in its own time.

Until then, we have a birthday cake to make, some small projects to work on, maybe a countertop to wipe, some birds to watch, and two other beautiful wee ones to love and treasure as they are today.

Today is a very special day, indeed.

near:far

(James at 9 months old. Thinking back to those baby days.)

I have been pretty frank about sharing my history of postpartum depression here. With a new baby on the way, my thoughts have turned back to that time, and to taking steps to prevent it. One of the things that I did to successfully combat the depression was to use photography to draw myself back into my daily life, from which I had become so distant. And then, of course, sharing a bit of that here, in this space, with all of you. Your support, enthusiasm, and the many new friendships I gained, all became such a surprising and lovely part of my healing process.

As so many of you have discovered, one of the best things about this blogging thing are the connections to be made with people from all over the world. One of the women that I connected with very soon after beginning this blog was Kyrie. Kyrie and I share a lot in common -- including our history of postpartum depression. Both of us found photography to be therapeutic during that time, but in slightly different ways. While I used it to draw me back into my life, she used it to help herself take a step back when she was feeling bogged down.

So, I'm very happy to announce that today, Kyrie and I are launching a new collaborative project, near:far. It's a place for us to share some photography and some thoughts as we both stand on the threshold of new motherhood once again. We'll be posting our photos and thoughts every Tuesday and Friday for 52 weeks. The focus is not on depression, but rather on positivity. We hope you'll join us there, share your stories, and hopefully help us to create a community of beauty and support.

I am so excited to be sharing this project with all of you. Afterall, without having had to work through postpartum depression, I wouldn't be taking pictures, or blogging, or have met most of you! So please stop by and pay us a visit!

Summer Is:

Our wedding anniversary. (Yes, that's the same photo I used last year. It's my favorite photo from the wedding.) So, nine years ago today, on a sunny, not-too-hot morning in August, my husband and I said "I do."

For fun, I thought I'd share nine things about us today.

1. When we met, I was 19 and he was 29. It kind of freaked my parents out a little bit, but they got past it pretty quickly.

2. I pursued him for about 4 months before he finally asked me out.

3. Our first official date was to an Indian restaurant. We now have a tradition of going to that same restaurant every year after church on Christmas Eve. (No, our first date was not on Christmas Eve. It was in September.) Our wee ones love it, and we love the chance to reminisce about that night when we were both so nervous. ;)

4. He proposed to me on a stormy night in late October. We had plans that night to go to a local amusement park that had reopened that week to do Halloween stuff. (You could ride the rides but they also had haunted houses going on.) {Halloween is my favorite holiday. He knew me well to plan a proposal during a Halloween bash.} He says he planned to pop the question on the ferris wheel, but I'm not sure how that would have worked, all scary and shaky up there. Anyway, it was too stormy to go, so we were in the car trying to come up with a Plan B for the evening, and he just blurted it out and pulled a ring out of his pocket. It was so, so sweet. We don't have the car anymore, though, which makes me kind of sad.

(By the way, I used to love all things scary, like haunted houses, until Elisabeth was born, when I very abruptly started hating them.)

5. Our children both have family names: Elisabeth is a family name on my side (going back at least 6 generations now), and James is a family name on my husband's side.

6. We are totally boring people.

7. One time we thought it would be fun to make a list of every movie we'd gone to in the theater together. It was in the hundreds! We made the list 5 years ago, and I don't think we've really added any to it since then. ;)

8. We did not live together before we were married.

9. I am two inches taller than him. I usually wear Danskos, though, so I tend to look even more than two inches taller. We're both so used to it that we don't really even notice anymore.

Looking forward to a bit of celebrating today. Hope your day is lovely and bright!

Meme-in'

In the midst of hunting down appliances and packing (how is it that stuff takes up so much more space when it's in boxes?!), I haven't been taking too many pictures. But, I did come across this meme that's going around flickr today, and decided to join in. I'm usually awful about participating in memes (sorry to anyone who has tagged me!) -- they tend to overwhelm me -- but this one was so much fun!

These are the questions, from the upper left:

What is your first name? Grace. Most of the images that came up when I typed "Grace" were of swans, which is just so not me. So I chose the above image.

What is your favorite food? Indian food

What high school did you attend? None: I was homeschooled

What is your favorite color? Pink, of course!

Who is your celebrity crush? Dave Matthews -- in a silly way. That photo up there just makes my heart beat faster. Luckily my husband is a pretty secure guy, because I have been crushing hard on Dave for 14 years.

Favorite drink? Mojito -- but really only those made by my husband. :)

Dream vacation? While my recent trip to NYC was quite awesome, my dream vacation is London, London, and only London. I am a huge anglophile. Did you know that about me? Though I've been to Europe, I haven't had the chance to visit the UK or Ireland yet.

Oops! I left out this one: What is your favorite dessert? Cherry pie!

What do you want to be when you grow up? Not so sure if I loved my answer here, but I said "peaceful." I am pretty anxious and intense, so I hope that one day I can outgrow those characteristics a little bit. ;)

What do you love most in life? That's an easy one -- my children! I cheated to add this one. But I'm good with that.

One word to describe you. I was going to say "intense" but none of the images that came up were quite right, so I switched it to "perfectionist."

Your flickr name. It's UncommonGrace. The shot of Graham is one of my most "interesting" photos on flickr to date.

Click on the photo above to get photo credits and so on.

Elisabeth wanted to do one, too.

Hope your weekend is going well, everyone!

Remember me?

Hi, my name is Grace, the person who formerly posted to this blog. That's me in New York. On a trip that I took and really want to tell you all about.

Computer. That's all I have to say. It's still dead (I suppose that's kind of redundant), and I don't always have access to the laptop, since it isn't actually mine. And I hate editing photos on it anyway, because despite your reassurances, I think they look bad.

So. These are the things that I think still need some updating on this blog. I am making a list so that you can hold me accountable. Although the timeline might be sketchy depending on computer yuckiness.

1. Trip to New York. Very quick summary: It was so awesome. Too short. But then, I wouldn't have wanted to leave my children for any longer. The opera was the best part. By far. (Although getting to see a very dear friend for the first time in six years and meeting this lovely blogger for the first time ever were also incredibly fantastic.) For now, here is a photo of the Grace building on 42nd Street, just because I had to share it:

2. Elisabeth's birthday doll

3. Another doll that I completed and mailed off recently

4. James's birthday gifts

5. Completed messenger bag (Here's a photo of it for now.)

6. Catching up on my 52 Weeks, My Kids and Me photo project

7. My Virtual Quilting Bee square for April, which I completed about three weeks ago

8. Other various and sundry projects completed sometime in the recent past

Whew! That's really a list! OK, nothing to do now but begin to tick it off. Slowly. :)

PS: Reader Anne left a comment to my last post that a set of birthday ring characters made by the same company as mine (though not the same exact set) can be found here.

Reminders

I began this post more than a year ago -- in January of 2007 -- and for some reason, even after revisiting it a few times, I have never published it. But after my two weeks away from the computer, and stepping back into this space with fresh "eyes", I feel like there is something in this post that I want to share with you now.

One afternoon in January of 2007, when I began this post, our little family was sitting together in the living room, and looking around the room, I really felt struck by the fact that we were (and are) growing into the family I'd always hoped we would. As I sat in the chair knitting this hat, my husband and James built with blocks, and Elisabeth, in typical Elisabeth fashion, flitted happily between one very creative activity to another. (From costumes to hairstyles to art projects to movement and music ... she is the most alive person I have ever known.)

Although it was not the first time the four of us were playing and creating side-by-side, it was one of the first times that I stopped to realize how important this is to me.

Despite many struggles with raising our children, with jobs & money, and lack of time, my husband and I have managed to create a space, or even a moment in time, where peace and creativity flourish. This is so very important to me, and the moments in which these values are truly captured are very special.

I am under no delusion that our children will magically circumvent becoming aloof, even disdainful, teenagers. (I can always hope, though!) But in this moment, while they are still so very little, I am glad that we are placing value on creating together, on working with our hands, and on making and doing rather than waiting for the next outside stimulus to come and sweep us along. I hope that this "foundation" will serve them well later, even when a time comes that they are ready to move on from our little family of four into a bigger world.

I'm thinking about all of this once again as I re-examine what it means for me to be blogging. I received the sweetest, most generous, honest, and inspiring email from a long-time blog reader the day before yesterday. Her words, and the fact that she has drawn inspiration from my life and my family in her own life, on the other side of the earth, humbled and moved me very deeply. Thank you, Iris.

There is something amazing about the connections to be found through this medium, and the opportunities it presents to so many of us are kind of astounding. But, I also have found that the flipside of this (for me) can be a tendency to come across too perfect. I've read discussions around blogland about this, and I have never quite agreed with it. I think it's completely fine to keep the negative elements of my life to myself, and to choose to be positive here. And I am most definitely a perfectionist. I work very slowly, whether it's sewing, knitting, or any other "work." In fact, I think some of you might laugh at how very slowly I sew on the machine! This is to say that I do strive for perfection all the time, because I am a person who gets anxious about small mistakes.

But, I'm not perfect. I make lots of mistakes in my art, work, and life. I'm not a perfect mother. I struggle every single day with remaining present with my children, with balancing my own needs and wants as an individual with the often very disparate needs and wants of two children, and the everyday tasks of a household. When I started this blog, stepping out of severe depression, I started it for myself. My intention was to record one beautiful and positive thing about my life each day, when all the days seemed to run together. For a long time, I believe that I was successful at this. But after a while, I think my focus shifted away from my original intention and more toward "fitting in" with other bloggers. And not that there's anything so harmful in that (what a great group of women (and men, too!), artists, mothers, and creators to fit into!) but I feel like I lost my focus, and lost a little bit of what made this space so very special to me.

So, I am beginning again, reminding myself that the blog is for me, for fun, and for remembering that there are small miracles in every single day, not just the days when I have a craft to show off or a fantastic photo to share.

Thank you to those of you who choose to spend a little bit of your own precious time here with me -- every day, or just once in a while. I hope you will keep visiting, and leaving comments for me. I hope that my new commitment to focus on the special, small moments in my day-to-day life (and crafts, too!) will touch you and bring a little bit of joy and beauty into your days.

love, Grace

PS: The photos here are from our trail walk today. I shared them here because of the peace that my children exude when they are free like this. Their squabbles seem to melt away on the trail.

Final bit o' green

It was my intention to add one last submission for Green Week on Friday, but we had a long and busy day, followed by me, and then James, being hit with the worst cold I may have ever had. The entire weekend was spent in bed, resting, nursing, and watching two movies multiple times (this one three times, this one just twice). An aside to you P&P fans -- I'm beginning to fear that I might be Mrs Bennet. I had to get my husband to drag the television and DVD player into our bedroom (for the first time in 6 years!) since we don't normally have one in there. I also resorted to fever reducers, which I (at least theoretically) try to avoid in all but the most dire of circumstances. So you can see that we've been quite sick.

We're a little bit better today, which is good, because there's a big birthday on Wednesday and gifts still remain to be made. I have been finding myself thinking a lot, in these past few days of laying in bed, of that snowy Sunday morning two years ago when this little boy (taken on his first birthday) joined our lives, and the days following his birth when he and I lay in my bed, looked out the window, nursed, and fell in love.

As a synesthete, I have strong and very concrete color associations for letters, numbers, months, days of the week, and people in my life. James was and is green to me, so I think that having a week of Green up to his birthday was so very fitting, although I felt that my green submissions were less inspired than I would have hoped. It was my "first week", though, so I'll cut myself a bit of slack. I think part of my lack of inspiration was that I was not really in the same place (geographically, seasonally, etc.) as many of the others playing -- as Emily described in her final green post, she wanted to honor the end of the last long month of winter (February) and the beginning of spring. Of course, where I live (at a very high altitude), spring hits in mid-April, and March is actually the last month of winter. So in about one month, I should be ready for a full-on green week, I think. ;)

So, about my two greens shared today -- James's Sigg water bottle, which is green, for James, and also "green", for the environment. Reducing consumption, waste, and the use of plastics are very important to me. Maybe not in that order. Use of plastics might be number one for me. There is something about plastic that makes me cringe a little bit. But that's another post altogether. The other green in this post -- we've had a few great family play nights recently. I've been thinking so very much about the importance of play in our lives and the lives of our children, what its rightful place ought to be, and so on. I'm working a post up on those thoughts. But I thought I'd share this photo now with its greens.

OK, back to bed for me now. I don't expect to post tomorrow, as I need to save all energy for getting well and making birthday gifts, but I do expect to post in honor of my big boy's second birthday on Wednesday. See you then, dear friends!

30

Today is my big birthday. 30!

gifts from nature via my girl

embroidery by Elisabeth -- a very tiny tulip, because they're my favorite

dusk on the eve of my birthday

THIRTY roses from my husband

My big day, and my husband and I both feel pretty yucky. He's much sicker; he came home from work this morning after about 40 minutes. We've been lying low. Birthday plans for tonight have been postponed until tomorrow, in hopes that we'll both be feeling better.

But, I had to post at least a little something today. And do I ever have a little something to show! I'm left a little speechless by this, but I received a collaborative gift in the mail today from Alicia, Emily, Erin, and Sarah. These women are talented and generous and simply awe-inspiring. I am stunned by what they sent.

It's a book. A book that Sarah made, and hinted about here. (I can't believe that was for me!)

photograph and quote shared by Emily

Each of them shared a little something with me. I am touched and amazed and ... well, I can't think what to say. A little teary. This is what I was talking about with regard to blog friends!

watercolor and ink by Alicia (isn't her handwriting beautiful?)

photograph and watercolor & ink by Alicia

30 things that Erin loves about me?!

"thirty plus one to grow on" by emily

photographs by Sarah

I wanted to share more photos of the pages of the book, but my photos of their photos weren't turning out as well as I'd like.

Anyway, despite feeling somewhat yucky, this has been such a sweet, sweet day. Such a way to welcome my thirties! Thank you all!

52 weeks ~ 3

I forgot to do it last week, I know. But here we are this week, with two.

I really do need a tripod. That would help a lot with this project. My arms are only so long. ;)

We're now officially entering my birthday weekend. Celebrating will begin tonight and continue all the way through Monday. Yay!

And thank you all so much for your many sweet comments on my last post. It has me thinking about so many things. I hope to talk more about those thoughts late next week.

52 weeks ~ 2

::for 52 weeks, my kids and me::

We have had a weird, long week. It hasn't been bad, but just somehow out of balance. Baby sleep troubles, thinking about moving (to a bigger house, not a different locale ... sorry dear friends!), a couple of headaches for the mama (I so rarely get them that it's been pretty odd), and very few ideas about posting here. And a lot of projects begun, but none completed. So.

Today seems a bit better. Elisabeth and I started reading Little Town on the Prairie today. We'd read all the Little House books through The Long Winter last year, and then took a little pause (mostly because we didn't have the others). We haven't been able to put it down! This has to be my favorite of the books. I love the evocative way that she describes the simple pleasures in keeping a home so well, and the satisfaction of taking comfort in home and family after a day of real work. It has nearly brought me to tears a few times today. (Well, it's been that kind of week.) More than once, I wanted to jump up and rush in here to exclaim to you all, "You have to read this now, friends!" And my real-life friends will chuckle when they read that it has me thinking about a housecleaning kick. ;)

Anyway, I want to leave you (and me) to look forward to the weekend (and the upcoming spring, which is not really so far away afterall) with some words from the book:

"Beyond the open door and window the prairie was dusky but the sky was still pale, with the first stars beginning to quiver in it. The wind went by, and in the house the air stirred, pleasantly warmed by the cookstove and scented with prairie freshness and food and tea and a cleanness of soap and a faint lingering smell of the new boards that made up the new bedrooms.

"In all that satisfaction, perhaps the best part was knowing that tomorrow would be like today, the same and yet a little different from all the other days, as this one had been."

Just Us

I accepted an invitation several weeks ago to join the Flickr group 52 weeks, my kid(s) and me, and have never posted to it. (I have a gnawing feeling that there are a lot of things that I said that I would do or joined -- or something -- that I haven't done. Only I can't think of what they are.)

Anyway, I finally decided that I would start it this week, especially with today being February 1, and the time for me to decompress after the holidays has probably passed. So new projects it is. 52 weeks of self-portraits of me and my wee ones (I think Fridays sound pretty good), and the Virtual Quilting Bee begins this month, too. (And I'd just like to say that I am so flattered to have been asked to join this group. The other ladies in this group are so very talented. It's going to be fantastic.) And "birthday season" at our house is now rolling into gear (mine at the end of this month, James's in March, and Elisabeth's in April), so there will be work on projects for those, and Easter falls into that mix, as well. And, I have another very special something in the works, so stay tuned...

Anyway, Hello, February! Hello New Projects! Goodbye Christmas of 2007! (You were great, and I learned a lot from you, and now you are passed. Thank goodness.)

Today's lunch -- and a question for YOU

A favorite lunch around here -- avocadoes with grape tomatoes, some olive oil and cider vinegar, with a touch of fleur de sel and freshly ground pepper.

My parents and in-laws always express a teensy bit of surprise and admiration about how "well" my children eat. I'm not all that surprised ... children always seem to like what's familiar to them, and we've always fed them lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. They are both little veggie eaters now. (Especially Elisabeth -- James likes meat, a thing she'd never had at his age. How the standards have eased with that second child. Hee hee.) Oh, my little gourmands.

I also have a request of you all. It's pretty important, so pay attention and do leave a comment!

I have been asked to speak/lead a session/whatever it's called on creative outlets for mothers at an upcoming parenting conference. I'm going to talk about carving out time for creating, blogging, and different forms of creative expression. Clearly my strengths (if you call them that ... I struggle a bit with being too modest sometimes practically all the time) lie in the "fiber arts" (sewing, knitting, dollmaking, etc.), but I'd really like to talk about other creative outlets, too. From writing to photography, from dance to gardening, from music making to cooking ... what are some of the ways all of you mothers express your creativity in your daily life? What I'm looking for are just examples of things to do (not specifically how you fit them in, though that would also be lovely!) that I can weave into my talk, and I know you all are the perfect people to ask. So fire away! Think about it, and let me know!

Motivation, Inspiration, and a bunch of Questions

Ugh. I am really lacking motivation these days. I don't think I've fully recovered from December yet.

Anyway, I'm lacking motivation, but certainly not inspiration. I have tons of ideas for kid clothes sewing (mostly from this book), and my new kicks (above) are just begging for some new skirts to go with them. (The shoes are Karina by Miz Mooz, found here, and are quite comfy!) And there is so much bloggy inspiration going on out there. New projects to be seen in all corners of blogland. Wow! And that's just a sampling -- you know what you're up to! (I am blown away that so many of you have so much energy to pour into new projects already, while I am still processing the holiday.)

And, I finally got around to ordering yarn to make the Tilted Duster from Interweave Knits Fall 2007 for myself. (The magazine is completely sold out, but I bought this pattern online.) Except, now I'm kind of worrying about this project for two reasons. Your insights would be much appreciated!

1. I only wear skirts. I am wondering if this style of sweater will even go with a skirt.

2. I am, ahem, really busty. My bust measurement is the same as the finished measurement for the largest size of the sweater. So, by the time you add some ease, I'm obviously going to need to alter the pattern. Any suggestions? I'm really not so great at that.

Next, while I'm soliciting advice from you, I have a big birthday coming up at the end of February. My mom wants to take me to New York for a long weekend (actually in April due to her work schedule and my children's birthdays in March and April). Sounds great, right? Well, yes, except for the teensy little detail that I am terrified of flying. Absolutely terrified. And I haven't flown since 1999. I always think the plane is going to crash. And then, you know, 9/11 hasn't helped my fears at all. I'll be honest that one of the things I'm most worried about now is what would happen to my children if something happened to me. I mean, my husband is a great dad. But all alone? How would he handle it? Anyway, not to get too dark on you. Any suggestions for getting past this phobia (because I really do want to go) would be awesome.

And really, suggestions on the sweater ... please!

A Really Unusual Post for Me

I very, very rarely go to the movies. So it's especially unusual and noteworthy that I have gone to see two movies in the last month. I knew almost nothing about either of them beforehand -- my husband and I went to see The Golden Compass last month, and my mom really wanted to go to P.S. I Love You, so I went to that with her last week.

I didn't really pay attention to The Golden Compass. I could only very vaguely summarize the plot if asked -- there was a lot of running about in snow with polar bears -- because I just couldn't get over the costumes! I was literally consumed all through the movie with ideas about how to make this dress & pinafore number,

hat,

and sweater

for my girl. (Sorry about the weird image quality and sizing. I don't really know how to do that.) Anyway, the blue dress with the red pinafore is just killing me! Isn't it great? And the hat would be so easy and cute. Some chunky yarn, a rectangle of stockinette stitch sewn down the back. Can't you just see it? I can. I'm a dork.

P.S. I Love You was, well, super depressing. But the charming Irish guys kind of redeemed it, I guess. ;) At the end of the movie, I noticed in the credits that there was a "Craft Service" for the film. A Craft Service? Um, what do they do, and can I work for them? Do you suppose they make things like curtains for the main character's apartment? Fabric bits for her business venture? (I'm trying not to give that away in case anyone cares.) Or provide other crafty essentials? I think that would be a pretty fab job to have. In all my spare time, of course.

And finally, in more film notes, I saw that they're making The Other Boleyn Girl into a movie, to be released in February. I read the book postpartum with James (along with its two sequels), and while not the most stellar literature, the author has a reputation for careful historical research, and I adore the subject matter. I am quite sure that I'll end up working out another movie night for this one.

{This post seems to have struck a nerve with a number of people as I have gotten more emails about it than any other! I would like to say that I meant no disrespect to anyone in the television or motion picture industry by my innocent guess about what a craft service is. I also would like to clarify that I was not offering a "must see" recommendation on any of the movies mentioned in this post. I am not attached to any of them in any way, and am not associated with any of the publishers or filmmakers involved.}

Laryngitis. Blech.

As you can tell by the title of this post, I am actually getting sicker with each passing day.

I really hate to do a post with no photos, but the idea of converting, saving, and uploading any right now seems ridiculously hard, so I'm just popping in to say hi, let you know that I'm still sick, but still alive, and promise to post this week even if they're just little ones.

W, X, Y, and Z

W

...is for wool. One of my absolute favorite things ever! It's warm in the winter, cool in the summer, water resistant, antibacterial, and just plain beautiful!

...is for wood. The material of which about 50% of our children's toys are made. (The other 50% being fibers of one kind or another.) I have been grateful, in light of the toy recalls of late, that we don't have plastic toys in our home. It has certainly saved me the headache of looking through our toys for recalled ones.

...is for wrinkle. I defy anyone to find one article of my clothing that is not comepletely wrinkled. I have, well, never ironed my own clothes. I have ironed my husband's shirts a few times. I have ironed a dress of Elisabeth's about twice. I do not iron.

X

...is for x-tra large. I'm a big girl!

...is for "xoxo." If you have corresponded much with me via e-mail, you will probably have noticed that this is my preferred method for signing my notes to people I've known for more than a week or two. You all get a lot of kisses and hugs from me!

Y

...is for yarn. Since I'm pretty much a collector, horder, packrat, stasher, what-have-you, I definitely blend my love of wool and collecting to building a yarn stash. Here is some Manos del Uruguay that I got last year to make my husband a hat. I'm going to make it this year, I promise!

...is for year. We are about 6 weeks or so into my husband's new school year. I am surprised every year by how challenging this transition is for all of us. This year, with him being at a new school, it's even a little harder than usual. It really takes us a good couple of months to get back into the rhythm of having him gone during the week. I know this may sound a little strange, but I actually prefer it when he's working. Three long months of having him around all day is great -- I love being with him -- but it also makes us take that time more for granted than I'd like, and we often enter the fall wishing we'd taken advantage of his home time better. So, although we've been struggling to find our rhythm again this fall, especially with my kidney stone ordeal, things are gradually beginning to fall into a routine, and the children and I are are settling into our days a bit better.

Z

...is for zoo. Elisabeth's favorite family outing. She is so into animals. After The Queen, my other aspiration as a child was to grow up to be an anthropologist, so the zoo, for me, is a bit on the ho-hum side since that's not really where my interests lie. But I'm trying a lot harder now that I have this child who is so captivated by animals.

...is for zero. The number of serious boyfriends I'd had before my husband, the number of kidney stones I now have (yay!), the number of times a week I've been exercising lately (hmm...), and probably a lot of other things that I've never tried or done!

...is for Zzzzz, what I want to do now that I'm done with the Encyclopedia of Me. Actually, I'm really glad I stuck with it! But now I'm looking forward to "regular" posting.