Solstice

Winter

Blow, North Wind, blow,
All the leaves are falling;
Cold, frost and snow
Winter comes a-calling.

Mother Nature sleeps now,
All the earth is bare;
Deep in the ground
She guards her treasures rare.

~Margaret Morgan

We are Christian and we will celebrate Christmas in the traditional way next week, but I also like to mark, in just a small way, this shortest day and the time for quiet and reflection that this time of year so naturally brings.

May this day be one of peace for all of you; a time of quiet in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Christmas preparation.

Blessings, Grace

Catching up (sort of)

I feel so behind with this blog! Putting unnecessary pressure on myself as usual. Isn't the point of this thing to recognize and enjoy the beautiful things in my daily life? Hmm ...

I have some fun mail and crafts to update, as well as the long-awaited reveal of my big doll-making project. But those will have to wait another day.

I do need to add that in the previous holiday reading post, I cannot believe I forgot to add Christmas in Noisy Village -- a huge favorite of ours! We love the Noisy Village books a lot.

And speaking of previous posts which require addenda, Elisabeth cut her hair again. This time, it was not so easily repairable. Actually, not repairable at all. She cut a huge chunk right out of the front center, almost down to her scalp. I've been trying to do a comb-over to camouflage it, but I really should try to get at least one picture of it in its short glory. The fortunate thing is that her hair grows faster than anyone I know, so in no time she should have some thick, stacked bangs a la Audrey Hepburn. ;) When asked her motivation for cutting her hair a second time? Well, I was nursing James and her hair was bothering her, so she just cut it off. Ah.

Finally for tonight, some pictures. I have been meaning to post these each week, but, well, it hasn't happened. Also, I don't really have a good one from week one. so here are week two and three of Advent; we've been enjoying candlelit dinners together as a family. Elisabeth loves it and rushes to turn off the hideous ceiling lamp each night as we're getting the table set and lighting the candles. It's taken me some time, but I'm finally getting to a place where I believe that there's no point in having nice things (beautiful dishes, candles, etc.) just to save them for some theoretical time that guests might be with us, and we should be using them with the people who matter most to us.

Wishing you many evenings of peach and joy this season.

O, Christmas Tree

We got the tree last Sunday (the 10th, so more than a week ago ... I told you I'm behind!). I really love our Christmas tree. Every year it's completely familiar and totally new.

Here are a few favorite parts:

The long and short of it

Elisabeth cut her own hair yesterday. Her daddy and I have been talking about taking her for a trim before Christmas for a week or so (yes, I'm crafty; no, I'm not a hair-cutter. Just ask my sister about the disaster that ensues when I cut people's hair). Apparently, Elisabeth was really worried that we wouldn't get around to it, so she took matters (and scissors) into her own hands. At first, I didn't think it was very drastic. But by the time the hair lady had gotten it evened out, it's a stunning difference.

So, here's the before:

And the after:

It was really funny, but I hope she doesn't keep doing it! We're a family of hair people. Hair-lovers, and just plain hairy. ;)

PS: I feel like I am weeks behind on all the posts I want/need to add, but I am experiencing a lot of frustration with my dial-up connection, which is limiting me a lot here. Hoping to get high-speed soon...

Breakfast x2

Wednesday was St Lucia Day, and although I'd read a bit to Elisabeth about the Scandinavian tradition, we hadn't really focused on it at all. I'd been planning to make the traditional saffron buns with her on Tuesday, but a friend was in town for just a couple of days, and we ended up visiting with her instead. Actually, the entire St Lucia thing basically slipped my mind until Tuesday night's advent stocking when I looked in the bag and realized that the next morning's gift was a St Lucia crown. I put it out anyway, since it's a great dress-up item if nothing else.

The next morning, I was checking my email, and Elisabeth came into the room, wearing red and white, St Lucia crown on her head, and a bowl of granola for me in hand. She had climbed onto the counter to get the bowl and the granola down, and gotten the milk out of the fridge and poured it herself (she apologized when she brought it to me that cow's milk was all she could find -- James & I are allergic to cow's milk -- so I just ate a couple of bites).

This might not seem too terribly impressive to many of you; I mean, the child is 4 1/2! But she's a cautious firstborn, and this was a first for her. She was beaming with her self-sufficience. Sweet wee angel.

Yesterday, everyone in the family (except me) was sick. So, Elisabeth had breakfast in bed. And just to show that, contrary to popular belief, I am not always a perfect earthmama, here is what my daughter had for breakfast on her sick day:

Yes, that's right. Your eyes are not deceiving you. Ice cream. OK, it's sorbet. Maybe slightly better, but just as refined-sugary. Also pancakes and kiwi. Yum.

For Tara

My best friend from college is expecting her first baby in January. She's in the middle of quitting her job and moving across the country as her husband begins a new job. Somehow, in the middle of all this, she remains creative, generous, and gracious.

We have not lived in the same state for almost seven years. I miss her lots, even though we have both grown and changed in such different ways over those seven years. I am so excited to see her stepping onto her own path of motherhood. It's hard to express to her how much having a baby -- such a small thing, in so many ways -- really changes everything. But I know that she'll be the perfect mother for her sweet wee boy when he arrives.

She visited for a short time on her way to her new home, and I gave her these baby gifts. I made her a sling and a silk and flannel blanket (similar to these, minus the $60 price tag!). It's a bit hard to tell in the picture, but the flannel is blue and white striped (Elisabeth picked it out, and at first I wasn't too sure about it -- there was another flannel I liked better -- but it really ended up growing on me). I love the batik print I got (at JoAnn) for the sling -- so much so that I think I'm going to get some more for a summer wrap skirt for me!

Anyway, blessings to you, Tara: for your move, your birth, and your motherhood journey. xo

Holiday reading

I keep meaning to update my reading list in the sidebar with holiday favorites. I will do that, too, but I thought I'd post about them first, and give a little description of each.

In addition to a winter or Christmas-themed book on one day of the advent garland, St. Nicholas also brings a Christmas book every year for each of our children, so we really have a lot more than this. But here's a selection of our favorites:

First, Winter, one of the Wynstones series of Poems, Songs, and Stories.

We have all six books in this series. I just love all of them and have used them quite a bit in our daily lives. We're really enjoying a lot of the stories and songs in Winter right now.

Tiptoes is new to us this year. Elisabeth absolutely loves these stories, although I think they're a bit simple and trite. But they are really perfect for a four-year-old, if not a mama!

Elsa Beskow is our favorite children's book illustrator. I'm always thinking that's kind of cliche, but then whenever we open one of her books, they are so beautiful. The children she draws are so soft, warm, and child-like. Truly gorgeous.

This is my favorite nativity book. Jane Ray's illustrations are breathtaking. And Mary is nursing Jesus in at least three of them!

This is, hands-down, Elisabeth's favorite wintertime book. I'm rather liking it lately, too. I've always enjoyed Jan Brett's illustrations, but lately I have really appreciated them because I'm kind of in a "Scandinavian-ophile" (?) phase -- probably because I'm knitting more now than I ever have in my life.

Another great Jan Brett favorite. The illustrations in this one are among my favorites of hers, though the "lesson" at the end is a little bit contrived and the book would still be cute if there weren't a "lesson".

This is also a favorite of Elisabeth's. I really like Karma Wilson's use of alliteration and rhyme, although I thought it was probably best in Bear Snores On, which is still a favorite of mine years after I first saw it.

I originally got this book for the transparency stars, but there are so many good and beautiful ideas in it. It's a true holiday winner. (Many of the crafts in this book are for older children and adults -- such as folding the complicated stars -- but even the littlest wee ones appreciate the finished results!)

I have all four books in this series, too, some of which I got before even having children (the first was Halloween Treats, which is still my favorite in the series). Parts of this book are just OK, but there are some sweet crafts that Elisabeth can do, and a few recipes worth trying.

Slippers

As promised, here are the photos of the slippers we made last week. They were really easy, and Elisabeth loves them. We're definitely making several more pairs.

We have had a hideously busy weekend, and it makes me ask myself why I'm constantly trying to "do it all." But then, what could I realistically give up? Sigh.

Grieving

I had the previous wool post set automatically for this morning, and although the sentiments expressed about wool are absolutely sincere, I feel that it's a bit insensitive in light of the Kim family tragedy.

I've been reeling about it last night and today. When I think of Kati and her two wee ones (virtually the same ages as mine), my heart just feels cleft. I know that my husband would have tried to do something to find help for us if we were in that situation. It was so courageous of James, and then so heartbreaking to hear that he was only a mile away from the car when he was found. I feel so very sick with sorrow.

This family will remain in my thoughts and in my heart for a long, long time. I'm finding it hard to be eloquent today, but I wanted to acknowledge this tragedy because it is weighing so heavily on the hearts of so many.

I'm ashamed that it takes a devastating heartbreak like this to remind me of how dear my own family is. It is so easy to take it for granted and to feel weighed down in the "dailiness" of life, especially with small children. But even now, my sweet wee boy is snuggled up, asleep on my bed wrapped in a cozy wool blanket, and I can hear my darling girl in the living room, softly singing to herself and playing a lovely imaginitive game; while I have the luxury of sitting in my own craft/office space with the warm western sun shining through the window. This afternoon, I get to teach 4 cello lessons to  bright, interesting, and individual students ranging in age from 9 to 16. And we'll have braised chicken for dinner. After my lessons, I'll drive our 13-year-old helper home, and when I get back, my dear husband will have washed the dishes, and we'll spend an hour or two chatting, drinking wine, and knitting (well, only I'll be knitting). I have so little to complain about and so much for which to be grateful.

I pray for blessings for Kati, Penelope, and Sabine. I pray that we all remember how important and sacred our time here with our families is.

Wild about Wool!

(Fingerknitting with Lamb's Pride bulky.)

As I was preparing yesterday's post, I got to thinking about my love of all things wool. I'm pretty sure that wool is my favorite "thing" in the entire world. Everywhere I look in my home, I find woolen things: felted pincushion, felt beads, woolen friends on our nature table, woolen long johns on my wee ones, woolen diaper covers on my baby (my love of wool diaper covers could be whole post in itself). I can't even begin to go into how many woolen items there are in my own wardrobe.

Longjohns by Ruskovilla.

My favorite wool diaper cover, by LANACare.

Nothing could be cozier! I love natural fibers anyway, and wool is the best of them all. And I love that when we are finished with it, it goes back to the earth.

Felt Fanatic

I know it's going to appear as though I'm copying this post, but I swear that this was the very first post I was planning, beginning it on November 15. But, you know, things just seem to get away from me, and then I was having some technical issues (well, actually they were more like Grace-computer interface issues, but we won't talk about that.) So, here is my long-planned, long-awaited felt post.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been fanatic about felt. My mom got my sisters and me started on making these felt dolls when I was about nine, and they became the focus of much crafting and play. Here are three of the 30 or so that we made over the years -- and they all had incredibly realistic accessories from toothpaste to newspapers ... it was very detailed. (By the way, the third one is "on" a bike.)

They're made using a combination of 100% acrylic and some wool-blend felt (whatever we could find -- it seems like the fabric store carried more variety of felt squares then), but I really preferred the wool even then. The texture is just so wonderful!

I also recently got this book:

I'm so excited to try some of the projects in it! The baby booties and briefcase are especially intriguing.

My favorite felt is the plant-dyed, 100% wool variety (it can be purchased online from A Child's Dream Come True), but really, any 100% wool felt is heavenly to me. I love the feel of it, the way it takes color, the complete potential living within it. When I see a lovely stack of felt, I see endless possibility. I have a potato crate full of nothing but felt and felting supplies in our office/craft room. It was my first crafting love, afterall! (Lots of notes on the flickr page.)

A few weeks ago, I was browsing the clearance fabric at JoAnn and found 10 bolts of wool felt for $4 a yard. And it was Veteran's Day, so everything on the clearance rack was 50% off. So, I stocked up! It's the 60/40 wool/rayon blend, but I was really excited about it anyway! I love the colors! Don't know what it'll become, but I have a tendency to horde felt, anyway.

That same week I was lying in bed thinking about these, and wondering if I'd ever be able to find them in my seven years of back issues of Martha (which are currently in storage anyway since I don't have the shelf space for them right now. Sigh.) And then, miraculously, there they were in Handmade Holiday Gifts (which, also somewhat miraculously, managed to "fall into my shopping cart", as a friend of mine would say). It was all so serendipitous, really, because Elisabeth & I have been reading "The Shoemaker & the Elves" over the last couple of weeks, and now we're going to make slippers -- I think she and James and my sister's step-daughters will each get a pair; and if we have time, perhaps some for Daddy & me. Pictures soon!

{On another shoemaker note, it also happened that a pair of my shoes needed to be repaired this week, so we got to visit a cobbler's shop and see their real tools. Elisabeth was fascinated.}

Self :: Motherhood

I was born to be a mama. Even at age three, look how I cradled my doll and held her hand.

I'm also a person who has to find my own way in everything I do. My own mother, who had me at age 21 in 1978, courageously breastfed, cloth-diapered, and homeschooled us when those things were not "being done." As I child, I was kind of embarrassed of these things. Everyone else was using those disposable bottle liners with those huge playtex bottle nipples. Everyone else was using those heavily-perfumed disposable diapers. Everyone else was going to school.

I thought I would do things so differently when I had my own children. Sometimes you try to look backward and connect the dots about how you got to where you are now. When I try to do this with my parenting journey, I think one of the most influential things was my Suzuki training (which I did before I was a mama). There were many other influences, of course, but this was the first thing that led me to a place of gentle parenting. Of course, where my own parents had been all along.

Here are Elisabeth and I after her birth. She was born at 2am in a hospital. Her birth was the most powerful -- and disappointing -- experience of my life. Sure, it was the "ideal" hospital birth: fast labor (3 1/2 hours), hospital midwife, doula, no epidural, no episiotomy, no IV, big (8 lb. 4 oz.) healthy baby. But it was a fearful, empty experience. I have made peace with this birth (after some expensive therapy), and I now acknowledge that, for whatever reason, this was the first lesson that I needed to learn as a mama, and it was also the way in which Elisabeth needed to enter this world.

Here are James and I on the day he was born. In some ways, his birth was similar to Elisabeth's: intense, very fast labor (60 minutes), big (9 lb. 2 oz.) baby. Certainly both babies came after what I would describe as difficult pregnancies. But in the four years between the two of them, I had learned a lot about myself, and I knew I wanted more with my next birth. So James was born at home. His birth was truly a beautiful, spiritual, and confident one. I think of it as the "closure" to my first birth.

Motherhood, like nothing else in my life, magnifies my flaws. But it also challenges and strengthens me to overcome them like nothing else ever could. Despite the many, many challenges our daily lives present, I know that I am doing what I was meant to do. I found my calling in motherhood.

It's Advent time!

First off ... the Advent stocking garland. I made this two or three years ago (it's troubling that I can't remember!) using this kit from Magic Cabin. The idea did not even cross my mind at the time that I could design my own! (I sometimes think I am better at following a pattern or recipe than inventing one for myself.) But I like the results, anyway.

I was working outside the home last year and the year before, in jobs that required me to be away during the night, and my dear husband had to be responsible for doing much of the filling of Advent stockings. Last year was really tough, and there was many a night that we almost forgot to fill them. So, this year, I resolved not to have that problem again. I have accumulated all of the gifts already, and put them into these bags that I whipped out in the last two days. We have been thinking a lot lately about the "footprint" we leave on this earth, and I just didn't want to use plastic or paper bags for this when I didn't need to, so I decided to sew some that we could reuse again and again, even though we're the only ones who will ever see them.

Many of them have "coupons" in them for outings (seeing lights, a holiday performance, carriage ride, etc.), and there are some actual gifts: some Ostheimer figures (we're collecting the farm figures), locally-made ornaments for each wee one to get the day we'll decorate our Christmas tree, and some craft supplies for days we'll make holiday crafts (today it was decorating an Advent candle -- pictures later, I'm sure!).

(SouleMama has a post on Kiddley with even more suggestions if this idea appeals to you. I also added a lot of suggestions to the comments on the flickr page for the top photo.)

Our Advent wreath form - just waiting on a delivery of a fresh evergreen wreath we get from a friend.

I haven't shown our nature/seasonal table here yet, and it's kind of in a state of transition right now (we had to move the objects to make room for our nativity), but here it is in its current state:

OK, back to the decorating, the Christmas music, and the fun!

first snow

Yesterday was our first "real" snow (other than a few flakes here and there). It's so exciting! We're transitioning to Advent mode and doing some decorating. More tomorrow!

Christmas cards - ready to go!

I can't remember when I started mailing my Christmas cards on the last day of November. It was probably four years ago. We had gotten to a point where we were only receiving a small handful of cards each year, and it was disappointing to me because I like to use them as part of my holiday decor. So I thought that if I started mailing them earlier than everyone else, that I'd get more, and it worked! We got ourselves onto a lot more people's lists that way, and I'm so happy!

Making the cards in advance also reaps some other benfits, although they weren't apparent to me at first. One is, somewhat obviously, that it is one less thing for me to worry about doing during December, that much more time for doing other "fun" things. The other, even less apparent benefit, is that it helps to get me into the holiday spirit sooner.

I had great fun making these cards this year. I really wanted them to reminiscent of nighttime, so I chose the navy blue paper and stamped the background in silver. I had a hard time choosing a matte color for the stamped Madonna & Child image, but finally settled on the dark purple and I think it looks great with the navy and silver -- both regal, and in keeping with the nighttime look I was hoping for.

I love fine art images for stamping, and this one, a detail from Madonna and Child with Saint Anne by 17th century Giovanni Battista Caracciolo, is one of my favorites.

I used a heat embossing technique to create the "crackled" effect that you see on the card above, but after making half a dozen of them, I decided to stop. I'm concerned that they will crack even more in the mail and fall apart when people open their cards. I was also going through clear embossing powder like crazy, and making 50+ 63 cards that way would've taken way too long and been way too expensive. But I did like the way those few turned out.

So, off they go, to 10+ 13 US states and three foreign countries (the farthest away is Thailand, if you're curious).

Enjoy!

Self :: Skirts

I have worn a skirt every day for the last 2.5 years. I guess it started because I thought that skirts accentuated certain "problem areas" less than shorts in the summer, so I switched from shorts to skirts about 3 or 4 summers ago. I gradually started to feel more comfortable in skirts than pants, and so the skirt revolution (in my wardrobe, at least) began. I've been asked if it's a religious thing ("It is now," I've quipped more than once), if it's a modesty thing (no ... unless you count the whole shorts thing at the beginning), if it's a girly-girl thing (I suppose this could be part of it).

I just don't like to wear pants anymore, although I would, in certain circumstances. For example, if I were to go skiing (I never would) or snowshoeing (I really want to), I'd wear pants. But otherwise ... not so much.

Circumstances in which I have worn a skirt in the last 2.5 years:

moving - twice; plus moving some furniture around, up & down stairs, etc., in between

tent camping in the woods

bike riding (with bike shorts underneath)

sledding

yoga

Circumstances in which I have failed to wear a skirt in the last 2.5 years:

sleeping (I always sleep in pants ... usually hospital scrubs!)

working in a hospital (hospital scrubs here, too)

Do I ever see a pair of perfectly faded, striated jeans that I really, really want? Yes, but I like skirts more.

Made by MY Mama

So, after five days on, five days off, I thought I really should blog something today to get back into the habit. (I'm going to say that I was absent for five days because of the holiday weekend.)

My mom cross-stitched these beautiful name "plaques" (I don't know what else to call them) for my wee ones this summer. In fact, she was looking through alphabet patterns to design a community cross-stitch quilt for a co-worker (a tradition at her work for anyone having a first baby), and had these patterns sitting out. When I saw a similar example in this pattern, I asked her if she'd make some for Elisabeth and James, and she said yes. Then she had them beautifully framed.

They're done on linen, and I just love the vintage feel of them. Even the frames have that feel. I just love my mom's work. Her stitches are all so even and careful. The children that were "assigned" to the letters "E" and "J" were not quite right for my children -- I think the "J" was a girl, and the "E" was like a baby or tiny toddler, so she changed the patterns around to make it work. She even added a beagle from one of the other letters to James's (we are beagle owners).

I am sorry I've cropped the photos so severely, but when I first posted this, I was using pseudonyms for my children on this blog as using their real names was still far outside my comfort zone at the time.

Martinmas lanterns

One of the things that I like about Waldorf education is its seasonal focus; the emphasis on traditional festivals throughout the year and the way that the natural world is part of this. Some of the festivals seem so far removed from our modern, far-too-fast-paced lives, but I believe that celebrating them and letting them resonate for us today helps to ground us, and to understand where we are coming from and where we are going.

I found myself being especially drawn to Martinmas (Nov. 11) this year. For our ancestors, this time of the year, falling almost exactly between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice (or the natural "new beginnings" of autumn and the quiet and peace of winter right at Christmas), was an important time to remember that the light would yet return. Because I have been struggling with my own "inner darkness" this year, holding onto the belief that there is light, and it will come back to me, has become very important indeed.

Of course, I don't go into my struggles with inner darkness, etc., with my children. For my four-year-old, this was a fun craft project and a charming holiday celebration which involved getting to go on a walk after dark and receiving a gift. (Inspired by an idea in Festivals, Family, and Food, we have a tradition of setting out a little tray for her which has an apple, an orange, a new warm woolen item of clothing [this year, a pair of cozy wool socks], and a little piece of chocolate for her to find on the morning of Martinmas -- it's always so thrilling!)

So, here we are in the process of making the lanterns. It took four work sessions over the course of one week.

Painting:

Oiling the paintings (we used cheap cooking oil):

(Elisabeth did not want to be in this picture)

Gluing:

All lit up (behind them you can see the remnant of our Michaelmas candle):

WIP : sneak peek

A sneak peek at this year's handmade Christmas card. You'll have to wait until the end of next week to see the finished product! ;)

Mail makes me happy

I received these lovelies in the mail TWO months ago now ... and I have been saving them, knowing in the back of my mind that a new blog would come along at some point this fall.

First was this beautiful note of encouragement from a dear friend during a week that I was really struggling. It was so thoughtful of her, and the woman in the painting (Bocca Baciata [Lips That Have Been Kissed] by 19th century British painter Gabriel Charles Dante Rossetti) looks mysteriously like me!

And, on the same day, I also received this wonderful package from my best friend from college. I love the necklace, especially the way she did the hardware (could I love one thing about this necklace more than any other? It's all so beautiful: the colors -- it's a bit hard to tell in the picture, but it's three shades of green -- the braided strands ... sigh). It was wrapped in that sweet little envelope, and came with the beautiful handmade card. Also in the package was some new music (Sympathique  and Hang on Little Tomato by Pink Martini, Tanto Tempo by Bebel Gilberto, Blacklisted and Fox Confessor Brings the Flood by Neko Case, and The Greatest by Cat Power). Such fun!