Not friends

My computer and I are not friends this week. Or, at least, my 38 kbps internet connection and I aren't. I have been having loads of trouble loading all sorts of sites, uploading pictures is even slower than the usual snail's pace to which I have become accustomed, etc. Frustrating.

Also, have had a big project going this week, to be revealed in two days. Eeek, I better get back to work!

My birthday is next weekend, I promise a fun birthday post and some other goodies. I am trying to convince my husband that we can afford a faster internet connection. So far he hasn't quite agreed, but I am still trying. It would make my blogging life so much easier!

But, I would like to end with something un-complainy today, so I'd just like to say how much I love blogland and all of you wonderful bloggers that I am getting to know! I am getting so much inspiration and making new friends all the time! My husband and I were discussing this last night, and both agreed that blogging has been a positive addition to our lives over the last few months. It has really gotten me enthusiastic and motivated to actually work on creating instead of just wistfully wishing I could do something or being nostalgic about a time when I did (I used to do more embroidery before children, for example). And he made the point that it's encouraging for me to have gotten so much positive feedback on the projects I've shared here. So, thank you all! You are lovely!

Corners of my Home

A couple of months ago, we finally committed to turning one wall and most of the closet of our teeny, tiny third bedroom into my studio space. This represented some sacrifice on everyone's part, because we already live in very cramped quarters. (Our "house" -- really a condo -- is very tiny.)

Anyway, it's been very good for me to have a space of my own for my work (not using the dining room table is a plus; I can spread out with impunity now). I've also been more motivated to sew because I don't have to cart my sewing machine around to use it!

It's still a work in progress as I try to negotiate all of my supplies out of cardboard boxes in our storage closet and into just the right spots here, but it's such an exhalation for me to finally have a space devoted to creating -- and all the goodness that my endeavors connote.

Happy Valentine's Day

I have never really been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because being homeschooled, I never did that whole exchanging-cartoon-character-Valentines-with-classmates thing. Or maybe it's because my birthday is less than two weeks later, and given a choice between a "big" Valentine's Day or birthday, I'd definitely prefer to have a fuss made over me on my birthday, so Valentine's Day has always been downplayed in relationships I've had. At any rate, I've never really cared about day one way or the other.

When Elisabeth was a tiny baby, I came across this book, which has been so very influential in many of the choices and traditions we've instituted in our family. What struck me about its discussion of Valentine's Day is that for many adults, it seems like a silly holiday to celebrate, but for children, it is a very special day. So we make it a family-centered day. Elisabeth is so thrilled about our special family party tonight after I get home from work (you know, teaching cello lessons ... I job I sometimes groan about "having on the schedule," but one I really and truly love).

I am so thrilled about the joy my daughter takes in being with and celebrating with her family, and about the opportunity that each holiday & festival (no matter how minor) offers to mark the passing of another year in the lives of my children; to remember what they were like and doing last Valentine's Day, and to look forward to what they will be like and doing next Valentine's Day.

No matter what this day means or marks for you, I hope that it is filled with love and sweetness.

Funky

I've been reading all over blogland about this February Funk. It's funny, because part of me wants to exclaim, "Yes! Absolutely!" at the sheer recognition. And part of me, well, relishes February. Like Stephanie, I appreciate that the days are noticeably longer now; that the sun rises with me, instead of long after. I appreciate that Valentine's Day always brings with it a little taste of spring, but usually with the promise of one or two more cozy, snowy days to follow. (Usually in April, in my geographical area.) 

On the other hand, with my birthday falling at the end of this month, February does feel like a long wait: until my birthday, until the end of winter, etc. Sometimes, in the throes of February, winter can feel neverending. There is so much to look forward to, and it seems that time ticks away so slowly.

So, I don't seem to fall into either February "camp." There are definitely a lot of "blahs," but I do appreciate the stillness that comes at this time. Winter has officially settled in, and although there are signs to remind us that spring will certainly come again, there is still a need to look inward, snuggle down, and accept the winteriness of it all. It is a good lesson in mindfulness and peace for me.

Found

So, I'm kind of a thrifting baby. I have always, always loved vintage stuff, but have been intimidated by thrifting for many years. And, well, I hate shopping. (I love the internet for this reason.)

But, having been inspired by all the finds I see all over blogland, I decided to try again, and went to my very first estate sale last week. First, I'd like to say that it was surreal and kind of sad. I feel kind of a responsibility to do something lovely with my finds, having pillaged someone's home for them. OK, with that off my chest, here's some of what I got. (I also got a ton of old embroidery transfers, some buttons, some ribbon. But I am too impatient to photograph it right now!)

The two on the left are very lightweight -- more like lawn. The one on the far right is jersey -- about 3 or 4 yards of it.

Photographing fabric is kind of hard! Anyway, cotton prints. Quite a bit of each of these. The second from the left is heavier weight than the rest.

These four are probably my favorites -- sadly, they're all small remnants (less than a yard apiece).

And my favorite find of the day. This child's dress/shirt/smock that was begun at some point, and then discarded into the fabric pile. It is not finished, and a bit of the fabric was cut off the back. But with some TLC, I think this could be really cute on Elisabeth. 

I may even end up tracing it to make more!

Corners of my Home

One of the fringe benefits of being married to a performing musician is that he goes to a lot of other people's weddings and events, and is sometimes asked to bring "leftover" floral arrangements home with him.

I know that there are men who just bring their wives flowers for no reason, but my husband rarely just buys flowers for me. But on those weekend mornings when I wake up to find a stunning arrangement from someone else's wedding or bar association party (or whatever) sitting on my table, it still makes me very, very happy. It feels so good to be thought about. And although I know that when he brings flowers home from a gig for me, it's because they were offered to him by an event manager, I still feel that the sentiment behind them is just as tender as if he'd stopped somewhere to buy them for me. I can imagine him smiling as he drives home late at night, with a beautiful surprise for me. Oh, he's very sweet.

Because I'm crazy like that

So, having decided that I was overreacting in my last post, and having further decided not to send the camera at all until after the children's birthdays (James's is March 12 and Elisabeth's is April 10), you will be hearing more from me over the coming weeks.

The main reason we (as in Elisabeth and myself) have decided not to send the camera is that she remembered a certain project that we thought we'd copy for James's birthday. I am so excited, even though I'm being a total copy-cat.

So, be back soon!

little break

I need to take a wee break from my blog. I just have to send my camera in for repair (if you're considering buying a Canon, I still recommend them very highly -- the problem here is, uh, a user error). The longer I put it off, the more likely that I won't send it before the children's birthdays, which would be disastrous. So, I just have to do it. And blogging without pictures just doesn't feel right.

This is hitting at a bad time for me, blog-wise, because my site visits have tripled in the last two weeks, and I feel really in the groove of posting. But there is just no getting around this camera thing.

(The sound you hear is just a bit of weeping.)

Please keep checking in! I'll be back as soon as I can be!

Edited: No, it's not just because of my camera, and if you visit me on Flickr, you will have guessed that, because I changed almost all of my pictures to "private" last night -- most of you who I know read this are already on my contacts, but if you are not and would like to be, please email me or add me as your own contact on flickr. I haven't had a specific "freak out" incident, exactly, but I suddenly just felt really uncomfortable with my children's images being "out there." So I'm going to lay low while my camera is away and think about this a bit. I know that most of you have grappled with these issues, too, and ultimately we can each only do what feels most comfortable to us. I'm not exactly sure what that is going to look like for me. I haven't felt well (mentally) yesterday & today, and I'm sure that's a piece of it, too. Don't worry too much ~ I'm definitely coming back! Please do continue to check in. Canon thinks they'll keep my camera about a week, plus shipping time on either side. So, I plan to be back within two weeks, having thought about this "sharing my children's images" thing a bit more clearly. xo, Grace

addiction

I learned to knit about 20 years ago, and sometimes I'd pick up my needles and make something, but I never really did a lot with it until recently. I'm getting to a point where I actually understand patterns and can knit without looking. (Which is huge for me, because I still sometimes look while I type! Even after grad school and everything!) So, now I actually feel like I need to knit every day, or else I get withdrawal.

Anyway, I just knitted up this hat this week, and I'm really pleased with the results. The pattern is Ann Norling #54 and was super easy, even for me and my intermediate skills. ;) I used that super-soft Highlander yarn (a wool-angora blend), and was really happy working with it.

Fun! And now my head can be warm. And yes, my hair is truly that orange.

Eating in style

This morning, I thought I'd opt for something a bit less "profound".

I'd had the fabric for these cushions waiting around for weeks, but finally just got to them last weekend. Poor James has been bumping his head against the back of the high chair long enough!

Basically, I just traced the seat and back of the chair, sewed them together with the piping (which is made using the blue, yellow and orange stripes on the bias) sandwiched between (I have to credit my friend Rebecca with a lot of this part because we were crafting together at her house and I kept "breaking" her sewing machine. Thanks, Rebecca!) Then I stuffed them with 5 layers of cotton batting (which is just cushy enough, I think. It is not like a real "cushion", but fine for eating. Enough to keep him from hurting his head!), and then couldn't decide how to "quilt" it all together. Machine quilting was out of the question -- it was way too thick for my machine -- so, I was thinking of just tying it with yarn, but I wasn't totally sure if that's what I wanted, either. I finally opted for the buttons. I think they look OK, but not perfect. Oh, well. I'm quite happy with these anyway. Who wouldn't be happy to get to look at this beautiful fabric everytime they went into their dining room?!

I don't really know what I was thinking when I was taking this picture, so I apologize for the blurriness, but you can see how I did the bottom cushion. I actually haven't added the buttons on it yet, but hopefully today...

Inspiration in music

As some of you know, I am a classical cellist & cello teacher in addition to my full-time job as mama to Elisabeth and James.

I have pretty eclectic taste in music ~ I like everything from Renaissance music to my favorite band for the last, well, many years, Dave Matthews Band. But the music of Bach is my true love. I have often said that I hope the last thing I hear before I die is the sound of Bach's music. (And no, I am not superstitious about that.)

One thing has been on my mind for the last couple weeks more than any other music:

Bach Cantatas BWV 82 & 199 ~ Lorraine Hunt Lieberson, mezzo-soprano

Edited: A cantata is a religious vocal work written to accompany the Sundays and feasts of the year, in Bach's case in the Lutheran church.

I could listen to this all day long, especially the opening Aria of BWV 82, "Ich habe genug". I normally would not describe either the oboe or mezzo-soprano voice as favorites of mine, but in this setting, they are both otherworldly.

The melody is hauntingly beautiful, and the oboe's timbre -- so opposite to the warm, deep resonance of my own instrument -- is perfectly plaintive here. Michael Steinberg, in his liner notes, describes the melody as "both ornate and achingly expressive," which perfectly describes it, I believe. Far from being angst-ridden or whiny, it's deeply peaceful, and perfect for a snowy winter day. The string accompaniment is murmuring and just sparse enough -- Bach was a true genius.

And Lorraine Hunt Lieberson's singing? Oh, my, just a little bit of heaven! She's achieved a perfect balance of expression and restraint. She was originally a violist before her singing career took off, though, and I think that explains her approach a bit. She has a lovely, light voice; it's mellow, but also full of pain when appropriate.

So there's my music review for anyone wondering if that snippet about my being a musician on my About page was for real. It is! And I encourage all of you, regardless of your feelings one way or the other about classical and/or classical vocal music, to listen to this at your first opportunity! (It is available on iTunes, for you technophiles.)

PS: We had Elisabeth saying that Bach was "the greatest composer that ever lived" when she was 20 months old. ;)

Morning

I just wish to thank everyone who has been leaving me such kind comments, and Jenn, for her very sweet recent post. I really feel the love; thank you so much.

Have you visited 3191 yet? Wow, talk about inspiring! I think it's worth the cost of my internet connection alone.

I am a closet morning person. I am really struggling with coming to terms with this fact, because I've always gone to bed late and gotten up late. But I hate staying up late. I am not a huge fan of dragging myself out of bed early in the morning, either, but when I do, I function so much better in the morning hours.

Looking at mav & Stephanie's beautiful images on 3191 over the last couple weeks has really gotten me to thinking about morningtime, and what I want our mornings to look and feel like. I certainly do not want the morning to be full of chaos. I believe that the mood of the morning really sets the tone for the rest of the day. I want to strive to make mornings a more peaceful, quiet, and centered time in our lives. (Right now they are just kind of free-form and "messy" -- fortunately we don't have the "getting out the door" problem to make it really challenging!)

So, since it's January, I'm resolving to create more peaceful mornings for my wee ones and me this year.

She came!

Thank you for all your first tooth love! Elisabeth was delighted this morning to discover what the Tooth Fairy left under her pillow. I was caught a little off-guard by the whole thing (her tooth had been a little loose for months, and I figured we still had months to go; then it seemed a lot looser on Wednesday, and by yesterday it was clear that she'd lose it by the end of the day), but I did make a little tooth pouch very much like the one the Tooth Fairy brought me when I lost my first tooth. The Tooth Fairy always left me a note, too, and although I have a closet full of fancy paper, I opted for the simple folded printer paper version that the Tooth Fairy used to leave for me because I am just so sentimental. There were also two quarters which have already made their way into the piggy bank to be saved for craft supplies. (That's what we both spend our money on. I am training her well.)

I am really excited that Elisabeth wanted to style and take her own photo of her surprises (not that this is the first photo she's taken -- she takes lots) to share on the blog! She wanted to share her joy with all of you!  Hmmm. I think her photo actually looks better than mine!

So soon?

We had a big day today. Oh, my. Huge. Oh, oh ... I have typed fourteen words and I am crying. So, I'll just come out with it. Elisabeth lost her first tooth. How can this have happened? She won't even be five until April.

Ah, but that's my little girl for you. My firstborn, beautiful, high-strung, tender, fierce daughter. Could she be described in a word? I think if so, it would be precocious. This child who I know down to her inner being -- to my inner being -- and who is yet an enigma to me. This precocious little girl.

Ah, we who are daughters and mothers of daughters are deeply blessed.

Five things about me

Hello, this is for Casey. I would not being doing this at all if she were not so cute. But let's not start tagging Grace with tons of memes, OK? OK. Edited: That sounded a bit more curmudgeonly than I intended. (See number 2 below.) ;)

5. I stalked my husband for five months before he finally asked me out. Which was, by the way, when I was 19 and he was 29. Scandalous!

4. I prefer the purl stitch to the knit stitch.

3. I'm a synesthete.

2. I got up at 5:00am today.

1. I have to go craft a Tooth Fairy gift now.

Quilting

This is the fabric for the quilt I'm starting with my mom. This is my very first quilting project, and her second. (She is a very experienced seamstress, though. And such a perfectionist. She is Ma Ingalls for the 21st century, I tell you.) I'm a bit intimidated by the project -- and it is to be truly my project because she is finishing her master's degree this semester, and so doesn't have a lot of time to do it with me, other than helping me get started. The pattern we're using is star at my window, a pattern my mom found at Quilter's Cache. And, it's going to be hand-quilted! Wow! I'm excited, but also a bit nervous. Here's my very first completed block:

Hopefully to be completed by this summer... We shall see. ;)

Hello, Ilse!

I had mentioned to Ilse a couple weeks before Christmas that Elisabeth would be getting a tiny wooden pig mama with three itsy-bitsy piglets in her Christmas stocking, and I wanted to knit these pigs for James's stocking if I had time in my secret crafting sessions (after the dolls, you know). Ilse was jokingly "pressuring" me to finish them, so I thought she'd want to see that I ended up making these two on Christmas eve. I wanted to do three piglets, but just ran out of time. Letting go is a life lesson for the crafty mama, I think. Or the crafty gift-giver in general, right?

I lied.

OK, I really intended to be back after my last post, and here it is, 12 days later, with nothing to show for it. We did have a brief stint with a stomach virus, but really my only actual excuse is that I am finding that getting into the habit of blogging daily is harder than I thought. Although that's supposed to be the point of this venture: making it a habit.

Also, I'm fearing camera withdrawal, so I haven't sent it yet, even though it's covered under warranty and everything.

So, here is some of my good mail from last month. I ordered these beautiful pieces from the sweet Poppy of GroovyGlassGirl, and I really love them.

I just love these ornaments so much, and I was going to keep them out all year, but somehow they did go into the box with the others -- and that's OK, too. They'll be a lovely surprise next year!

This bracelet! Sigh. I should probably get out the thesaurus because "listening" to me go on about how much I love this is probably irritating and definitely redundant! But I do truly love it.

And finally, these great earrings, which I found using the shop-by-color tool on Etsy. Even though James is at an age where he pulls on my earrings relentlessly and I really can't wear danglies. But I love them anyway.

I do have more mail to show off and lots of other stuff to post about ... so hopefully I'll get myself "back on track" here! ;)

Claire and Peter

I'm back. I'm mostly recovered from my awful cold. My camera, however, has had some sort of issue and is being sent on Tuesday to be serviced. So, I'll be posting about Christmas for a while yet. :)

We had the merriest Christmas ever this year. (In spite of my cold.) The children were delighted with their gifts, and it was a very mellow day. We made the (difficult) choice this year to stay home and have a "just the four of us" Christmas. I am so glad we did.

The children loved their dolls. Elisabeth has named them Claire and Peter, which I just love. I love that she chose such classic, old-fashioned names for them, and that clair means "light" in French -- so appropriate for a doll "born" at this time of year.

In my last, delirious post, I omitted much of the doll odyssey, and have been getting comments and emails with questions about them. So, I'll try to give a shortened version of the whole adventure.

I've wanted to get Waldorf dolls for my children for a long time. I made a Baba doll from a Magic Cabin kit for Elisabeth's first birthday, so I knew the basics of sculpting the head and so forth, but had never really pursued making or buying them. This summer, I was dreaming about these and these, and I finally decided to jump in and make my own. First, I ordered the 12" doll kit from Magic Cabin. Once I had the body stuffed and pinned together, though, I realized that I really didn't like the 12" size and decided to make 16" dolls instead. So I bought a copy of Making Waldorf Dolls, some more supplies, and started afresh. This was in August. I had their heads made and their bodies stuffed by October (having to do this all in secret, while in the midst of my depression diagnosis, slowed things down somewhat).

Then came the hair. Oh my. The Hair. Claire's hair was not too terribly difficult. It took about 3 (post bedtime) work sessions. And then she was done, albeit naked. But then came Peter's hair. I am not exaggerating when I say that rug-stitching his hair, loop by loop, using pliers to pull the needle through, took more than 24 hours total -- maybe closer to 30. By the week before Christmas, I was really afraid I wouldn't finish on time. But my sweet husband stepped in and spent a lot of time with Elisabeth -- playing with her in the snow, taking her along on errands, etc., so that I could work during the day. (Thankfully, his semester had ended, so he was able to help a lot.) I finished Peter's hair on the 23rd and then made their clothes that day (except for Peter's sweater, which I had knitted several weeks before).

It was down to the wire on this project. But I got it done! And Elisabeth is terrribly delighted with Claire. James has shown some interest in Peter, but he's very little for this type of doll yet. (I know that a simple knot doll would have been the more age appropriate choice for his age, but you know how it is with siblings. Sometimes appearances must be kept up for the older sibling if for no other reason.) I'm just so proud of myself for completing something with my own hands that my children will have to play with for (hopefully!) a long time to come.

Is it time for bed yet?

Today is (or, I guess, more accurately, yesterday was) my husband's 39th birthday. (Before you start trying to figure it out: yes, we're 10 years apart.)

It's not just his birthday, however. It's also a Saturday night. So, instead of our spending the evening doing something fun and charming together, he had a gig. A pretty nice one -- it's his trio at a really great local coffee/wine place (much preferable to a smoky bar these days). Ah, the glamorous life of a musician. And instead of my going with him to his charming gig where he'll be playing jazz renditions of Christmas songs, I am home, sick, with two over-stimulated, over-tired children, looking at this:

I love winter. I love winter holidays. I love winter holiday crafting. I apparently even love (or simply can't avoid?) working on deadline. But I am definitely looking forward to a long winter's nap come Tuesday.

I would, however, like to reveal the dolls that I have been working on and talking about to so many of you for, oh, months now. I finished them both today! Here they are, rosy cheeks and all:

I am really, really loving them and so amazed that I actually completed the project. There were moments where I wasn't sure that I'd be able to finish them. But, thanks in large part to the help of my lovely, wonderful, birthday-boy husband, who was fabulous about keeping Elisabeth away from my studio this last week, I was able to get them finished. With a day to spare!

I will be signing off until after Christmas, perhaps until after the New Year if I haven't recovered from my cold by then. I hope you all have/had a wonderful holiday.