Wonders: Sky

Sunrise by Elisabeth ~ July 2, 2007

"The top is where the spaceships go
The next is heaven
The next is the sky
The next is the clouds turning pink in the sun
The rest is the beauty of the Earth."

Wonders: Rain

How beautiful is the rain!
After the dust and heat,
In the broad and fiery street,
In the narrow lane,
How beautiful is the rain!

How it clatters along the roofs,
Like the tramp of hoofs!
How it gushes and struggles out
From the throat of the overflowing spout!

Across the window pane
It pours and pours;
And swift and wide,
With a muddy tide,
Like a river down the gutter roars
The rain, the welcome rain!

In the country, on every side,
Where far and wide,
Like a leopard's tawny and spotted hide,
Stretches the plain,
To the dry grass and the drier grain
How welcome is the rain!

~"Rain in Summer" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

up in the air so blue

How do you like to go up in a swing,
   Up in the air so blue?
Oh, I do think it the pleasantest thing
   Ever a child can do!

-Robert Louis Stevenson

{I remember my mom reciting this poem ~ a favorite of hers, and mine ~ many times throughout my childhood.}

A Little Boy

I've got this little boy now. Sometimes he is still such a little, wee baby boy. And sometimes he is such a big toddler boy:

And I've been thinking a lot lately -- a lot, even though it seems like a silly way to spend my time -- about this "internet name" he has: JJ, his first and middle initials; so uninspired. I hate it, and I think the first few posts I wrote, I referred to him as "the baby" in order to avoid coming up with something. Anyway, the more I think about this "JJ" name, and the more I get to know the real boy who is my son, the less I want to use it. Would it be too terribly confusing if I changed it? If I promise to go through my archives and change it on the whole blog? Because I really think I need to. For my mama soul.

{I have now gone through all of my archived posts and first changed his name from JJ to "Jem," inspired by the eldest son of Anne of Green Gables, and now, finally, I have replaced both children's internet names with their real ones.}

just pictures

My husband is in a recording session this week and has my camera with him (oh, take care of it, my love!), so I have no photos of new projects to show you. So instead, please enjoy the summery goodness of these photos from the weekend.

end of spring, beginning of summer...

Today is the "official first day of summer" in our home. Elisabeth began swimming lessons, my husband is finished with work until he starts his new job in August, and we are outdoors most of the day -- and into the night!

{Pants by me, anklets -- from pants scraps -- by Elisabeth.}

Last week, as the last week of spring, also marked the end of an arts class Elisabeth has been taking. It was a great experience, incorporating visual arts, dance, drama, and music. Elisabeth's favorite parts were drama and dance, of course. ;)

While this class was a fabulous opportunity for her, and one which she really enjoyed, we are all looking forward to more outdoor activities as summer swings into gear ... more outdoor meals, camping, swimming, and general basking in outdoor goodness.

Oh, Summer, how I love thee!

new cousins

When my sister got married a while back, two little girls joined our lives and family in addition to a new brother-in-law. I admit that at first I didn't know how to react to having two new nieces overnight. But it is turning out to be even better than any of us (adults) could've hoped. Elisabeth is so thrilled to have two new cousins so close in age (my husband's nieces and nephews are all a lot older than our children), and it has given my sister and me something new to share with one another.

These shots are from a recent afternoon when the younger of the girls spent the afternoon with us while my sister took the eldest to a birthday party.

It feels like it has been such a long time that I have been doing the "mama thing" while my three younger siblings have been going to college and doing the "20's thing." So it's been really fun to reconnect with my sister at the zoo, over sprinklers (that the kids are running through), and through naptimes and bedtimes. Her experience as a (new) step-mom is different than my mothering experience, but there are a lot of things about the day-to-day joys and challenges of being with children that we share.

wreath of flowers

Last weekend, while Daddy had a long day of rehearsals and work, I took the children to a local Waldorf school May faire. We had a wonderful time crawling through a castle maze which had been constructed with dozens of refrigerator boxes -- complete with turrets, dead ends, and secret passages; enjoying an all-organic lunch with compostable plates, cups, and flatware; dancing around a May pole; and weaving this crown of flowers. I was pretty annoyed with myself for most of the day because I forgot the camera (cardinal sin, I know), but the flower wreath is really the best part, so here are a few pictures of it. ;)

And one more from that afternoon, blurry and all, of my two wee ones who are beginning to interact more and more like friends. It just makes my heart skip to see their relationship -- their play, their companionable ease together, even their bickering. I'm so happy to just be their mama; to quietly observe them. Together.

Pants

I am pretty sure that I can't be the first person to have thought of this, but this spring when I received the Mini Boden catalog, with the VW bus t-shirt, I immediately thought of the VW bus fabric by Heather Ross. Anyway, I mentioned that to my mom in passing, and she thought it was so cute that bought the t-shirt for James, and I made him these pants. It is probably a bit over the top to wear a VW bus t-shirt and pants, but, you know, the coincidence was too much fun for me to ignore.

I also just had to add -- look who's walking! He started taking some steps soon after his birthday, but it was really in the last couple of weeks that he really took off. It's so much fun! My baby is a toddler!

I want to thank all of you who left encouraging comments or sent emails over the last, very anxious, week. We won't have any news regarding my husband's job until the end of this week at the earliest, but I will surely be on here right away when we know anything.

I also wanted to add, as many of you have asked and/or guessed, that Elisabeth's beautiful princess gown was indeed made by her friends' mother, my dear friend Laura, who is very clever and crafty, thank you very much. Especially impressive to me is that she adapted/drafted her own pattern for the dress, which is truly more stunning in person than even in the photos!!

Birthday pinafore

As I said previously, I had been planning to make a linen smock for Elisabeth's birthday for some time. When I saw this berry-picking pinafore last fall, I made my mind up to do a similar one for Elisabeth, especially since berry picking is one of our favorite family activities. Of course, knowing how much I like the cross-back smocks, I wanted to use that style again. (Elisabeth is refusing to allow this to be called "apron" or "smock", by the way, and insists that everyone say "pinafore.")

I had such fun designing and stitching the "E" embroidery on the front ~ it was definitely my favorite part of the project, and I still get excited looking at it.

I have been working really hard at making my sewing neater, straighter, & more careful lately (I've been especially motivated by this book in that area), making my backstitching and topstitching go perfectly on top of the underneath stitches, and so forth. Right now, I'm still what I would consider to be a "beginner", but I want my stuff to look handmade, not sloppy. I get easily frustrated, and have said many (many, many, many ... just ask my husband!) times how much I hate pinning and pressing and snipping threads ~ all the "extraneous" bits of sewing, right? ~ but I am trying to teach myself to enjoy even those aspects, and sometimes find myself muttering things like, "This is going to be the best pinning job I've ever done." I am not totally there yet ... enjoying the process of sewing (or anything, apparently) rather than just rushing through in anticipation of the "finished product" is challenging for me. But I'm getting better. I think the last few things I've made show my increasing attention to detail.

And I love this pinafore.

Five years old!

Today Elisabeth turned five. Five! It feels so significant to me; for five years I have been someone's mama. This little girl has created so much change in me in the half-decade that she has journeyed with me. My little girl, my fierce, tender one. My firstborn child, she who made me a mama. She entered this world with the same ferocity with which she continues to live her life, and quickly turned our lives upside down. She has motivated us in so many ways ~ as parents, as individuals. I have learned more from her and through her than I would've been able to in many lifetimes had she never joined me. What a gift she has been, in her intensity, her force of will, in her needs that we have learned to meet as best we can. In this challenging, spirited child, I see my own flaws reflected back at me as through a microscope, and sometimes I feel like I am facing my own ugliest self. The awe-inspiring thing about a child is the ability to transform that very ugliness into beauty and growth for both of us.

As fierce as Elisabeth is, as individual, and sometimes stubborn, she is a generous, creative, fresh, and deeply sensitive soul. She approaches empathy and tenderness as vehemently as she approaches everything else.

I am amazed by her "five-ness" in so many ways already ~ she seems at once so much like a "big kid" now and still so small. I just can't wait to discover what this year holds for all of us. Many new adventures, no doubt.

Happy birthday, sweet girl. What a joy it is to celebrate your presence in our lives!

A Special Day

It seems like I dropped off the face of the earth, right? Nope, I'm still here. I just don't know how some of you manage to keep up on your blogs even in the midst of busy holiday weeks. I even have a backlog of ideas for posts. But ... well, at least I'm here right now!!

I was informed on Monday that "April threeth" was Claire's birthday, which was the very next day. So, a birthday party was held on Tuesday afternoon, complete with birthday crown, of course.

We made Elisabeth's "Secret Recipe" for chocolate chip cookies (see below), and enjoyed birthday festivities fit for such a special dolly.

When I created these dolls for my wee ones, I made them partly because I wanted them to have this style of doll and wasn't in a financial position to buy them for full retail price, and partly because I wanted to try the project. I figured that they would be enjoyed and played with, but I did not anticipate how much of a companion Claire would actually become. She is in Elisabeth's bed every night, and she is the first doll for whom we've had to have a "real" birthday party.

I know that I could gloat about how much this thing that I made for my child has become a treasured possession, but, truthfully, it isn't about me. Those dolls carry a magic beyond what I could have imbued them with; they are as magical as if they had been made in the real elves' shop (they were a Santa gift) and not in my tiny workspace in stolen moments. I have relinquished the credit for them, and it's not difficult or bittersweet for me at all. In fact, I am grateful for the opportunity it gives me to step outside of myself and believe in magic that much more.

Elisabeth's Secret Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies

Mix together:
Eggs
Milk
Vanilla
Butter
Powdered Sugar
Flour
Chocolate Chips

Flour rolling pin; flour mat; roll out. Cut into teeny and big circles with a cookie cutter. Put on tray. Bake for 2 seconds; they will be poofy and hard.

Welcome, busy April

It seems that April is one of the busiest months of the year for our family. Of course, Elisabeth's birthday on the 10th is huge. But Easter also falls in this month (most years), and there are a slew of other birthdays -- from my brother, to nieces & nephews, to two of our family's closest little friends -- to prepare for and celebrate.

So, I'm spending a lot of time looking over my "lists" (don't laugh -- I go completely crazy without them), planning & making gifts, cards, Easter goodies, and birthday party fun. There has been much knitting going on over the last week (the vest will be completed in time!), and there are still some sewing projects to complete before Elisabeth's birthday. And we'll dye eggs, of course, and probably do some other Easter crafties ...

Of course, during all of this busyness (yes, I know that is not the correct spelling of that word), spring is sneaking up on us, and my wee ones are getting off to bed before dark. After their bath the other night, this fact really seemed to feel "real" to all of us, and there was some impromptu frolicking on the grass in summery pajamas before going in and settling down to some poems.

And then it's back to work for Mama. But not without a treat.

{Edited: I so rudely neglected to share what this treat actually was. It was strawberry sorbet topped with vegan chocolate chips and some coconut that I toasted in my toaster oven. I don't know how many times I've mentioned our allergies on this blog already ~ maybe 70? ~ but, James and I are both allergic to milk. So, no real ice cream for me, and no milk chocolate, either. Although, honestly, I don't really mind about the chocolate bit, at least. Chocolate is neither here nor there for me. ;)}

Yarn for the vest

I decided that this vest really was calling my name to knit for James to wear on Easter. (And many times thereafter, I'm sure.) I've been wanting to try some of the Cotton Comfort (80% fine wool, 20% organic cotton ~ yum!) yarn from Green Mountain Spinnery for a while now, but didn't have a specific project in mind until now. It's the yarn featured in the book, which made the choice that much easier.

My wee ones and I had a nice time winding the hanks into balls yesterday (really, who needs a swift when you've got two little ones?!) Well, actually, I wound it while they played in it. It took a bit longer, with more tangles than if I'd done it alone, but really, where else would I rather be?

And the yarn is so yummy. I love that it has just enough cotton to give it that light feel, but the wool gives it beautiful stretch and drape. I haven't cast on yet (one can only do so many projects while sick), but I know I'm going to like working with it. I'm really excited! Now, let's see how fast I can be!

{PS: Thank you all so very, very much for your many get-well wishes over the last few days. I have determined that I probably do not have strep throat (my sore throat has been steadily improving), but I'm still quite sick. As many of you know, when mama is sick, it kind of seems to knock the whole family out. Fortunately, I don't seem to get sick like this very often, and my husband is extremely good in times like this. I am still optimistic that I can complete a skirt for myself by Saturday and manage to be the "photographer" for my sister's wedding party. Because, you know, just going and taking the pictures is not enough; I really need a new skirt for the event!}

a birthday book

In the tradition of copying great ideas, Elisabeth and I made a fabric book for James's birthday. (I am a firm believer in the "imitation is the fondest form of flattery" concept.)

Most of the photography is Elisabeth's; those that she did not take herself were selected by her, and she dictated the captions under each photo. One thing I learned in this process is that my sewing machine is not intended for quilting. However, it was great fun to select the fabrics, and though I haven't done very much sewing in the last ... well ... ever, it was exciting that some of the pages used fabric from things I've made for James, like the cushions from his high chair & a couple pairs of pants.

It was so cute when he'd see a picture in the book, and then look around the house for the person or object (or doggy) shown in it, and he'd just laugh, and look back and forth between them, and laugh some more.

These are my two favorite pages. Nursing is so very important to James & me; it is really a special time for us to connect, which I'm finding feels even more vital with this second wee one of mine. And do you see what Elisabeth had me write under the right-hand page? "This is you, and I love you." Awwww.

And, although these photos have nothing to do with the book, I really had to share them:

He really loves grabbing those candles. Eeek!

Because picking up pieces of the cake with his fingers would have been a waste of time. ;) He was so surprised when we all laughed at him for doing this, but then he bent his head right down to do it some more!

Oh, and I do have to recommend this cake recipe -- it's the Applesauce Cake from this book. Very wholesome, and oh-so-yummy. We have enjoyed this cake on many a first (and second ... and 30-something) birthday with friends. I really had to do an icing this time (second child and all), and since James & I are allergic to dairy, I did a Seven Minute Frosting which was beautiful and fluffy when I made it 40 minutes before icing the cake, and flat, goopy, and a bit marshmallow-y when I actually put it on. When the recipe says "use immediately", I think it probably means it. Oh, well. It tasted good. ;)

One year old!

Today is James's first birthday! I just cannot believe how fast this year has gone.

One year ago, I was cradling my newborn boy. He was born first thing on a snowy morning. I awoke with some mild contractions, but I wasn't really convinced it was labor at first. I wasn't due for almost 3 weeks! Within a few minutes, though, the contractions began in earnest, and we called my midwife and my friend Rachel who was coming to be Elisabeth's support person. Fortunately she lives very close! By the time Rachel and my midwife's assistant arrived, I had been in labor for about 30 minutes, and I was already pushing. My midwife came in just in time to catch him, 60 minutes after the beginning of labor.

James entered this world peacefully, gently, quietly, and his birth seems to have been a foreshadowing of his personality. He is a quiet, tender little soul who amazes me constantly. He's remarkably mellow (especially when compared with the powerhouse of Elisabeth!), and almost always seems to be in good spirits. He has been such a blessing to our family, and especially to Elisabeth, who completely dotes on him. Witnessing the unfolding of their relationship has certainly been the greatest blessing over the last year, though it has been a year of tremendous growth for all of us, especially me, as I've grown into my role as mama to two indredibly different wee ones.

There has been much celebration today, and more to follow this evening. What a joy to celebrate having this little boy in our lives!

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!

Happy Birthday, Sweet Friend

Today is the sixth birthday of Elisabeth's first friend. We met C when she was 16 months old and Elisabeth was but a wee babe of three months. Her mama, along with two other women, formed my core of support in those early -- sometimes stumbling, sometimes jubilant -- days of motherhood. For three years, C and Elisabeth were the only girls in our collective growing brood. (Now a total of 10 children between the four of us -- 6 boys and 4 girls.) And at first, that 14 month age difference seemed huge. But the girls have grown together and I take such joy in observing their friendship.

Writing this post is a whole flood of emotions for me. Both in the realization that this girl, this one-time baby, is a big six-year-old now, and in the sheer nervous energy left from this huge project, completed yesterday:

With this having only been my third doll to complete, it was still a learning process for me. But I came to love this doll as much as the others I made. In fact, parting with this doll, whom I lovingly dubbed "Frances" during her making, was a little tragic for me as I dropped Elisabeth off at the birthday party this afternoon.

It was is a huge lesson in letting go for me. I am not just letting go of a doll, you know? Of course you know. I'm having to let go of all that crafter's anxiety: "Will my handmade gift be good enough? What if she doesn't like it? It would be like rejecting me! Or is it too much? Oh, dear, is this gift over the top? " etc. And then, there's that whole letting go of our children bit. You know, because they're actually growing up. Right before my very eyes.

More about the doll. I used the vintage strawberry fabric from the recent estate sale, orange yarn hair in honor of our little strawberry-blonde friend, vintage shell buttons on the back of her pinafore, and vintage ribbon on her knittted shoes. (All other materials are new.)

I also made her a birthday crown (100% wool felt, but not plant-dyed) to coordinate with the crown I knew C's mama was making for her this year. Not knowing what the doll's eventual name would be (C's crown has her initial on it), I just embroidered a strawberry of my own design.

You can see more pictures of the doll on my flickr page.

Happy birthday, sweet C!

She came!

Thank you for all your first tooth love! Elisabeth was delighted this morning to discover what the Tooth Fairy left under her pillow. I was caught a little off-guard by the whole thing (her tooth had been a little loose for months, and I figured we still had months to go; then it seemed a lot looser on Wednesday, and by yesterday it was clear that she'd lose it by the end of the day), but I did make a little tooth pouch very much like the one the Tooth Fairy brought me when I lost my first tooth. The Tooth Fairy always left me a note, too, and although I have a closet full of fancy paper, I opted for the simple folded printer paper version that the Tooth Fairy used to leave for me because I am just so sentimental. There were also two quarters which have already made their way into the piggy bank to be saved for craft supplies. (That's what we both spend our money on. I am training her well.)

I am really excited that Elisabeth wanted to style and take her own photo of her surprises (not that this is the first photo she's taken -- she takes lots) to share on the blog! She wanted to share her joy with all of you!  Hmmm. I think her photo actually looks better than mine!

So soon?

We had a big day today. Oh, my. Huge. Oh, oh ... I have typed fourteen words and I am crying. So, I'll just come out with it. Elisabeth lost her first tooth. How can this have happened? She won't even be five until April.

Ah, but that's my little girl for you. My firstborn, beautiful, high-strung, tender, fierce daughter. Could she be described in a word? I think if so, it would be precocious. This child who I know down to her inner being -- to my inner being -- and who is yet an enigma to me. This precocious little girl.

Ah, we who are daughters and mothers of daughters are deeply blessed.

Claire and Peter

I'm back. I'm mostly recovered from my awful cold. My camera, however, has had some sort of issue and is being sent on Tuesday to be serviced. So, I'll be posting about Christmas for a while yet. :)

We had the merriest Christmas ever this year. (In spite of my cold.) The children were delighted with their gifts, and it was a very mellow day. We made the (difficult) choice this year to stay home and have a "just the four of us" Christmas. I am so glad we did.

The children loved their dolls. Elisabeth has named them Claire and Peter, which I just love. I love that she chose such classic, old-fashioned names for them, and that clair means "light" in French -- so appropriate for a doll "born" at this time of year.

In my last, delirious post, I omitted much of the doll odyssey, and have been getting comments and emails with questions about them. So, I'll try to give a shortened version of the whole adventure.

I've wanted to get Waldorf dolls for my children for a long time. I made a Baba doll from a Magic Cabin kit for Elisabeth's first birthday, so I knew the basics of sculpting the head and so forth, but had never really pursued making or buying them. This summer, I was dreaming about these and these, and I finally decided to jump in and make my own. First, I ordered the 12" doll kit from Magic Cabin. Once I had the body stuffed and pinned together, though, I realized that I really didn't like the 12" size and decided to make 16" dolls instead. So I bought a copy of Making Waldorf Dolls, some more supplies, and started afresh. This was in August. I had their heads made and their bodies stuffed by October (having to do this all in secret, while in the midst of my depression diagnosis, slowed things down somewhat).

Then came the hair. Oh my. The Hair. Claire's hair was not too terribly difficult. It took about 3 (post bedtime) work sessions. And then she was done, albeit naked. But then came Peter's hair. I am not exaggerating when I say that rug-stitching his hair, loop by loop, using pliers to pull the needle through, took more than 24 hours total -- maybe closer to 30. By the week before Christmas, I was really afraid I wouldn't finish on time. But my sweet husband stepped in and spent a lot of time with Elisabeth -- playing with her in the snow, taking her along on errands, etc., so that I could work during the day. (Thankfully, his semester had ended, so he was able to help a lot.) I finished Peter's hair on the 23rd and then made their clothes that day (except for Peter's sweater, which I had knitted several weeks before).

It was down to the wire on this project. But I got it done! And Elisabeth is terrribly delighted with Claire. James has shown some interest in Peter, but he's very little for this type of doll yet. (I know that a simple knot doll would have been the more age appropriate choice for his age, but you know how it is with siblings. Sometimes appearances must be kept up for the older sibling if for no other reason.) I'm just so proud of myself for completing something with my own hands that my children will have to play with for (hopefully!) a long time to come.